for Fade Away3/2/2009 c1 
612simpleplan13
"With only blood and tears to show/What kind of life can they present?"... either you need to end the first line with a period or the second one is not a question because it's blood and tears to show what kind of life, which is a statement.
You also have some run-on sentences, especially in the middle and end. And you don't end it with a period either.
I liked the piece, though. The rhyming is subtle and doesn't sound forced at all. The descriptions are really great. Nice piece.
612simpleplan13"With only blood and tears to show/What kind of life can they present?"... either you need to end the first line with a period or the second one is not a question because it's blood and tears to show what kind of life, which is a statement.
You also have some run-on sentences, especially in the middle and end. And you don't end it with a period either.
I liked the piece, though. The rhyming is subtle and doesn't sound forced at all. The descriptions are really great. Nice piece.