3/21/2009 c1 612simpleplan13
Thanks for your review awhile back, sorry it took me so long to return the favor.

I think this piece got too repetitive. I mean how many times do you need to say "like a yoyo." I think the reader understands the comparison and repeating it like that was a tad unnecessary and made the comparison more in your face and less subtle imo.

That said, I did really like the comparison. I think you described the yoyo thing really well and differently than I've read before with the whole circle thing, haning by a thread part and then stopping at the bottom. I also liked the up down thing, that worked well.

PS If you're bored this weekend, check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile)