for What's Left to Remember?1/28/2010 c1 Torie
Omjesus! That had me in tears. It was really good and reminded me of someone I know. Good job.
Omjesus! That had me in tears. It was really good and reminded me of someone I know. Good job.
2/18/2009 c1 brightest darkness
Hey, sorry my review got cut off . that's like the fifth time my cmoputer has done that... Anyways...
Opening
Hey, sorry my review got cut off . that's like the fifth time my cmoputer has done that... Anyways...
Opening
2/18/2009 c1 brightest darkness again TT
Hey, sorry my review got cut off . that's like the third time my cmoputer has done that... Anyways...
Opening
Hey, sorry my review got cut off . that's like the third time my cmoputer has done that... Anyways...
Opening
2/18/2009 c1 brightest darkness
Hey, sorry my review got cut off . that's like the third time my cmoputer has done that... Anyways...
Opening
Hey, sorry my review got cut off . that's like the third time my cmoputer has done that... Anyways...
Opening
2/15/2009 c1 
6Indie Tangles
"You’re fiancée." Should be your. Possessive, not a contraction.
Anyways, I thought you did a good job one the whole tonewise. Short, choppy sentences and another quality I can't quite put my finger on gave this whole piece an underwater feel, if that makes any sense? The narrator is aware of what is going on, but not really - in a really weird, detatched way.
I felt like the resolution came on too quickly. It was just kind of "BAM! FIANCE! MEMORY!" And it was all kind of squished into the last six / seven / eight lines.
The last line was spectacular, though. :)
6Indie Tangles"You’re fiancée." Should be your. Possessive, not a contraction.
Anyways, I thought you did a good job one the whole tonewise. Short, choppy sentences and another quality I can't quite put my finger on gave this whole piece an underwater feel, if that makes any sense? The narrator is aware of what is going on, but not really - in a really weird, detatched way.
I felt like the resolution came on too quickly. It was just kind of "BAM! FIANCE! MEMORY!" And it was all kind of squished into the last six / seven / eight lines.
The last line was spectacular, though. :)