Just In
for Deeper

4/4/2009 c1 45deefective
Hm, well I have to say that I really like the way you wrote this. The flow was smooth and the writing itself fit the piece. I also like the questions you put in there. It gave the piece that ominous feel that comes from someone who finally doesn't care anymore. But, I do think that you ended this too soon. That last line felt like there was a whole lot more to say. Other than that, nicely done.
3/15/2009 c1 9Mayo on toast
I like your use of rhetorical questions; they add another layer to the persona in the poem. The ruby halo was good imagery, I thought, I liked it.

"How about the truth?

I’m sick of all the lies."

These lines made we wonder; Who are they aimed at? Yourself, or everyone else? Everytime I read them I get a different answer.

Overall, good poem.

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service