for The Example2/25/2009 c1 
31ByYourSide
I. Like. This.
You took a pretty used plot-a soldier deserts after he realizes the enemy is just like him-and added twists to it. It's the Great War. He's already deserted and now he's being punished. He wears a cross around his neck and is sorrowful upon at realizing he and the 'enemy' were both men of God.
I love that part, by the way. It was touching. God means so much to me that when He comes up as the bond between the two soldiers, I can't help but get a little emotional and happy at it. :D
This was pretty good without being beta read. When you do dialogue, though, the period is supposed to go inside the quotation marks.
Not: “No Blindfold”.
But: "No Blindfold."
That's the only punctuation that bothered me. I did like it though! I may take a look at your others sometime too!
31ByYourSideI. Like. This.
You took a pretty used plot-a soldier deserts after he realizes the enemy is just like him-and added twists to it. It's the Great War. He's already deserted and now he's being punished. He wears a cross around his neck and is sorrowful upon at realizing he and the 'enemy' were both men of God.
I love that part, by the way. It was touching. God means so much to me that when He comes up as the bond between the two soldiers, I can't help but get a little emotional and happy at it. :D
This was pretty good without being beta read. When you do dialogue, though, the period is supposed to go inside the quotation marks.
Not: “No Blindfold”.
But: "No Blindfold."
That's the only punctuation that bothered me. I did like it though! I may take a look at your others sometime too!
2/25/2009 c1 Icyfire4w5
Hi, I am also a pacifist! I like this story since you have based it on history. Your language is very concise, good! I can understand the dilemma that Edward is trapped in. His death has actually freed him from the horrors of war.
Hi, I am also a pacifist! I like this story since you have based it on history. Your language is very concise, good! I can understand the dilemma that Edward is trapped in. His death has actually freed him from the horrors of war.