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for The Window Watchers

3/31/2011 c1 Pale Treasures
I just loved this. It made me smile so much. You capture the mind of an infatuated teenage girl so perfectly, I'm astonished. I just LOVED the touch of the acne cream on her cheeks! There's nothing more realistic than that, I think.



Oh. Oh. Oh.



Silently she pays thanks every god she's ever thought worth worshipping - Durga, Aphrodite, Loki, the Supreme Antithesis of all that is Good. He's stripping. He is Stripping. HE IS...

Kind of skinny. Oh. BUT WHO CARES? He's still the most beautiful man-thing that ever graced this wretched planet, the comelist creature that was ever shod in leather, her Dorian Grey in denim, her...


Can I say how MUCH I loved this? It was absolutely hilarious, and it made me remember I've been there. That mesh of disappointment with optimism and the sheer rush of seeing him undress... perfectly captured. The boy's POV was very funny and well done as well (and quite teenage boy-ish, as far as I'm concerned).

Well, I don't know what else to say without sounding insane and obsessed. I think you portrayed the teenage doubts, lust, craziness and humour just beautifully. There's just a humanity in your stories that I love, and often in the tiniest details. And I'm done with the reviews. I adored this! Well done!
4/29/2009 c1 10dreameratbang
Haha, lovely piece! I could relate to it a little...althoughh it was a door and a window in my case...I loved it! I know this is a useless review, but I can't think of anything else to say...!

Loved the second paragraph with the math thing, an accurate description told in a lovely way. There's something that entrances the reader in the way you write in second person.

The bit about the guy added a lot to the story, I think. Very funny piece, amazingly good job, by the way, keep writing!
3/23/2009 c1 13Marie St. John
I love it! So beautifully written, so mortifyingly true! Both realistic and idealistic, honest (somewhat brutally) and amusing. Peeping Jane! LOL... I loved your characters - I am very glad you don't polish them so much that no one can believe in them or their feelings - the whole concept is especially dear.

Thanks for the pick-me-up this turned out to be!

- Aranel
3/1/2009 c1 1Shadowwolf403
hehe i forgot to leave you one woops. anyways i love how they gave each other nicknames even though they never met though the ending is little confusing. did it fastfoward a bit or something. whatever i guess i got to read your other one.
2/26/2009 c1 2abstow89
Well, this story isn't exactly my favorite, but it does explain human nature a little bit. Certain people are in love with someone and can't say how they really feel because they're scared of how the other person may react. So I liked that part to the story.

It kinda creeped me out though with how...random and awkward it got. There were times where I thought the main character had schizophernia or was semi-insane or something when the character was writing in the journal. But then again, some people do act that way when it comes to love.
2/25/2009 c1 31ByYourSide
Extremely interesting and funny. Usually I'm tempted to skim, but your details added a lot to the story, not unecessary weight. I love the reference to the Lacto Calamine on her face, and how he's kind of skinny and doesn't wash his clothes-it's really not often the main characters are imperfect, so when an author writes them with imperfections like you've done, it's a breath of fresh air. They seem like real people.

Is this a typo?

Her friend doesn't quite understand what she's raving about knows you watch him," she puts in mildly.

That got me a bit confused. Should it be like, Her friend doesn't quite understand what she's raving about. "He knows you watch him," she puts in mildly-?

"Isn't that kind of inconsistent of you? You bitch when Miss Ho gets all exhibitionisty but when he..."

^ That part was just one of many hilarious lines. I'm applauding as I crack up. Oh, and this too:

Aren't I entitled to stare at him all I want? Why does he have to be a prude?

XD I just... I love this story! And that doesn't happen often on FictionPress!

And I love the ending! I literally just squealed-not. even. kidding. Now I sound like a rabid fangirl, and I won't make a habit of it, but this story was honestly a breath of fresh air. I may have to check out your other stories as well. :]

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