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7/28/2010 c28 Lord Monbodo

As you can probably tell, I haven't read the prelude yet.

Kevin J. Anderson must die... slowly.
7/25/2010 c3 1Beware of Dogs
Somehow I now doubt you'd like the prequel I'm writing for...uh...let's call her the Ghost, since that's close enough to her username and I can't mention her real name (or she'll sock me in the nose).

Though, somehow I think writing a book through a villain's point of view is slightly more unique than Eragon. And I don't remember possession being a part of Lord of The Rings or Star Wars, even if the main character of the book may be a little too much like Darth Vader for his own good.

The Ghost's Dad forced her to watch a lot of Star Wars as a kid-can we truly blame her for the accidental undertones? -snickers-

Anyway, you hit that Twilight shiz on the nose. Sparkling vampires... -grumbles- Everyone forgets the original 'vampire' liked to impale people on pointy objects...

Personally, that leads me to like Bloodline by Kate Cary and Peeps by Scott Westerfield better. A book written in letters, newspaper headlines? Cool. A book about a parasite that causes people to go psycho that's being covered up? Slightly cliche, but okay.

Plus, they're both gory and the first has more twists than the average hippie's dreadlocks. Well, the end had a twist at least. Mary in the book could've been Bella, but then she tried to save a helpless girl, left the evil blood-drinking vampire behind, saved a baby, etc. Actual heroine junk...
7/22/2010 c27 12TorgoTheWhite
My God the story is about as subtle as a Syfy Original Movie! Where exactly do you find drivels like this Jave? Do you seek them out now?
7/21/2010 c28 48Michael Panush
Well, I agree with some of your points, but a lot of your criticism doesn't make sense and you seem to have a very cursory understanding about Dune. It's not just some loopy '60s drug cold war' thing that you're trying to pass it off as. And Dune's much more than just a book that happened to inspire a video game (though I'm glad you liked the undderrated Emperor: Battle for Dune). There isn't a cold war anagolgy, anywhere in the story. It's more of a feudal, almost medieval kind of thing, with lots of squabbling noble houses. It takes way more influence from the Judeo-Christian religons than 60s psychodelic culture, with Arab, Greek and Persian themes put in there as well. And the Prelude to Dune books weren't that bad. They were merely okay, which isn't that great for such an amazing epic as Dune. The Bultlerian Jihad books were merely okay as well, and it's only the big conclusions that were outright bad. Also, you seemed confused that Ix had a noble house for some reason, though most planets in Dune have a noble house, and it's never mentioned that its a technocracy in the story. All in all, I think you needed to do more research on Dune before writing this review.
7/19/2010 c28 ChosenMan
Interesting review, good luck with KJA.
7/12/2010 c27 Michael Panush
This was an interesting review. I didn't really like the bit at the beginning about 'books involving scientists playing god' are bad. After all, Mary Shelly did it brilliantly in Frankenstien and the opposite viewpoint - thinking technology will solve all our problems - is equally silly. I also don't know if it fits in this parody review. The book itself seemed to have a really cool concept (dragons fighting Thor sounds awesome), but ruined it. I wish you had some quoted some passages to show the bad writing too. But overall, this was a fun entry. I look forward to the next one!
7/12/2010 c5 3BlowtorchSlaughter

I'm loving this sh*t. You, my friend, are a legend.
6/28/2010 c26 48Michael Panush
This was interesting. You didn't seem to hate the book that much, and it seemed a fun, if kind of brainless read. It's good to mix it up, but I didn't really laugh too much during the review. You kind of spoiled the ending too, which I can see pissing some people off. Your comments about trying to impose logical order on action movie cliches seemed kind of petty for this kind of thing too. It was still entertaining to read though.

I look forward to the next one.
6/7/2010 c25 Michael Panush
Pretty funny story, and the whole idea behind it is so utterly ridiculous that I was smiling at a lot of the descriptions. You also had a few excerpts, which were pretty funny even without any commentary. I did notice a few typos and repeated words though, so maybe it could have used more editing.

Also, no horse puns? You could have called the readers 'foals' instead of fools, said the book lacks 'horse sense,' urge the readers to 'hoof it' away from the book, say its a 'mane' attraction, say you're not 'horsing around,' urge the readers not to 'back this losing horse.' You had some good ones in there, but I think there was a bit of a missed opportunity.

Still good, and I look forward to the next one.
5/22/2010 c4 8Thornton
Best. Title. Ever. And I almost spit my tea all over the screen when I got to this line: But saying things like this is the literary equivalent of world's oldest profession (no, not nomadic hunter-gatherer, I mean the other world's oldest profession).

Actually, I find the movie version to be almost hypnotic in its crapulence. Travolta's finest work since Look Who's Talking Now.

Reading some of these entries makes me think you might appreciate a movie called "Gentlemen Broncos", which is painfully awkward and kind of awful, but worth the price of admission just for a brilliant scene where the schlocky pro fantasy novelist gives advice to a room full of kids on creating character names.
5/21/2010 c25 6BookObsesserNumberOne
Horses that can drink, smoke, have chores, and hold bottles with their hooves? Oh yeah, and I suppose that they can also sprout wings at will and have earned the alliance of potatoes. The suckish poem at the beginning was the worst. Was the person who wrote this quoting from experience?
5/4/2010 c24 Lord Monbodo
Jave you really need to stop raiding garbage heaps. Those books were put there for a reason. To die slowly.
4/29/2010 c24 48Michael Panush
That was a good review, with a book, or multimedia extravaganza, that is a perfect target for this series. I laughed aloud about using the CDs as chakrams too. However, I really wish you included some quotes from the book, some examples of the purple prose. If its as bad as the lyrics, it would be hilarious to read and here you tear apart. But overall, good job and I hope the next bad book you review is just as crazy as Ramman.
4/12/2010 c23 2DeepSeaDragon
Excellent review from the good (bad) Dok. Sounds like ol' Shang was smoking some of that strong stuff when he wrote that piece... or maybe it was "Opposites Day?"

Funny story about his ironic death, too.
4/7/2010 c23 48Michael Panush
This was wierd. The book seemed kind of obscure, and a bit too much of an easy target. Also, the sarcastic asides lost their humor after a while. I think you need another bad, popular book to review.
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