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for Doktor Bizarro's Bookshelf of Horrors

6/8/2009 c7 Spurlunk
I like Dan Brown's books. They're fun to read. Of course since they're fiction, I don't take any of the info as historically accurate, despite the author's note, I don't think we're meant to.
6/8/2009 c2 Spurlunk
I love this. Amazing. Well Written, too. Eager to see what other books you've skewered.
6/8/2009 c8 48Michael Panush
A very cool chapter! Oh John Ringo No, indeed. And those videos of yours are great as well!
6/4/2009 c8 81LittleLoser.AndRoloLamperouge
i'll catch on to that...

5/28/2009 c7 48Michael Panush
That was a pretty good sum up of all the Dan Brown potboilers. I had read the two Robert Langdon ones, and I never really noticed all the wrong information or the similarities in plot. I just kind of rolled with them. I guess I was reading them on airplanes, so maybe that had something to do with it. Anyhow, that was a nice run down, I liked the plot generator bit, and I can't wait to see what's next.
5/28/2009 c7 81LittleLoser.AndRoloLamperouge
wow, I learned more in this more watching the movie Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons. Your criticizm is the best...not the one I have read on one of the blogs I've been reading. They're purely complimenting the books[and the movies], not noticing its plot holes and predictable shots. Really great!

5/14/2009 c6 48Michael Panush
Nice little review, and it's good that you're not super hard on what seems like a so-so book you'd buy in an airport. I liked the 'root' pun as well. I wonder what the next one will be? You certainly have me curious,
4/10/2009 c5 Michael Panush
This was an excellent chapter. I learned a little, laughed a lot, and it was great to see the Good Book get some well deserved trashing. There were a few gramatical errors, but other than that, this section was pretty much perfect.
4/5/2009 c2 126lili brik
I wish I could ignore just how terrible those books really are, but they're continually shoved in my face by people much older than the stereotypical Twilight fan.

(If you have any familiarity with Orson Scott Card's Ender/Bean series, I would definitely encourage applying this critical format to it)
3/26/2009 c3 27Alanna Lioness
I'm not exactly reviewing this (sorry, but I haven't read Eragon, so I can't really say anything), but I just wanted to say, I hope I didn't offend you with the Twilight thing. I really wasn't going for that, just stating that you should probably read something before you bash it (but once you've read, you have every right to bash if you have the facts to support you)... So, sorry if I offended you.
3/26/2009 c2 Alanna Lioness
Hmm, this is an interesting idea of yours. I like the idea of looking into 'horrible' books. However, as a Twilight fan (don't worry, I'm not one of those crazy, rabid ones), I feel like I need to point a few things out. First, Bella's not a nerd. She just likes to read. You also picked up on that strange, invisible to popular thing over night. Yeah... I didn't really go for that either until I went to see Stephenie Meyer at a book signing and asked about that. While she didn't really do a good job of communicating this (probably because of the first person writing), Bella's popularity doesn't stem from her looks (because yeah, she's only average looking), but the fact that she's new in a town where people really don't move to that often. The families in town go back generations and everyone knows everyone because that's the way it is. Being a new person there basically turns Bella into a celebrity.

I'll be the first one to agree with you about the controlling, almost misogynistic asshole part about Edward. Once he actually stops shunning her, he expects her to do everything he says... what's up with that? I know he's trying to "protect" her but still... Yeah... Don't ask me why I love Edward, I just do. But I like Jasper better to tell the truth.

The last thing I'll say is, I get a strong feeling that you've never even read Twilight and you're just going off things other people have told you. You know why? Cause you got a lot of the facts about the books wrong. So yes, while I think you've got a interesting thing going here with talking about bad books, please refrain from writing about things you haven't read. If you're going for a respectable, critical, look at these "bad" books, you're doing it completely wrong by blowing off the actual facts and just using what you've heard through word of mouth. I myself am currently writing a very detailed, not always nice, commentary of the Twilight movie. But here's the thing. While I review/commentate, I'm actually *watching* the movie and referring to the book while I do so. That's what looking at something critically is all about. I haven't read your other chapters (I'll probably skim), but I hope you used a more critical eye for those than you did with Twilight.
3/13/2009 c3 ChosenMan
I love the sounds of people ripping apart bad novels in the morning. Sounds like, victory.

Events, like Twilight and Eragon are when my faith in the Human race plummets to the deepest, darkest depths of Hades (Better known as Liverpool).

Oh yeah and, Bizarro for Presidente!
3/12/2009 c3 48Michael Panush
This was a good entry. I liked the breakdown of showing just how similar it was to Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Some of the asides were a little too long (the tree thing seemed kind of out of place and weird) and a few of the jokes were a little corny, but besides that, I liked your explanation of the fantasy genre and how crap like this keeps it down. Looking forward to your next tome of terror, whatever that is.
3/9/2009 c2 Michael Panush
I actually have had the misfortune to read Twilight (my sister made me, before I convinced her of how shitty it is) and I have to say that every criticism on this page is rooted in truth. The only thing you didn't mention was how horrifically bad and cheesy the writing actually is. Every other word praises Edward's physical characteristics, from his perfect skin, to his perfect hair, to his perfect rate of breathing. Thankfully my sister and I are quite over this horrendous series. Also, why have Alucard from Hellsing go after Edward when Cassidy, the hard-drinking, Irish vampire from Preacher, seems like the better candidate for some pansy-vamp ass kicking? Otherwise, great job, and I look forward to reading more. And maybe seeing some outraged fangirls respond.
3/8/2009 c2 Someone who knows you well
Jave, don't even lie, you have neither read nor watched any element of Twilight and are not qualified to speak of their horrors, any more than I am
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