for Stained With You8/24/2009 c7 browneyes33
I love spy stories. Especially when the girl kicks some ass. They need to release all their sexual tension and just have sex. Really hot sex, lol. Update again soon
I love spy stories. Especially when the girl kicks some ass. They need to release all their sexual tension and just have sex. Really hot sex, lol. Update again soon
8/18/2009 c7 
3VampiressAJ
i love this story. Ill have to remember to thank All Over You for suggesting it. Fallon and Rachel would be an awesome team together. lol, update soon
3VampiressAJi love this story. Ill have to remember to thank All Over You for suggesting it. Fallon and Rachel would be an awesome team together. lol, update soon
8/16/2009 c7 jesEkuh
oh my gosh this story is so awesome
number 1 on my list
when is the next chapter going to be up?
when do you usually update?
oh my gosh this story is so awesome
number 1 on my list
when is the next chapter going to be up?
when do you usually update?
8/16/2009 c7 Sayuri. J
New reader here thanks to All Over You :)
Gah! To many games! They need to get together already... even if they refuse to acknowledge that it happened afterwards, lol. SOMETHING other than a kiss needs to happen. Now.
New reader here thanks to All Over You :)
Gah! To many games! They need to get together already... even if they refuse to acknowledge that it happened afterwards, lol. SOMETHING other than a kiss needs to happen. Now.
8/16/2009 c7 5CuriousContradiction
Something someone already said already in the reviews, but here it is again: Devon and Rachel really have chemistry. How do you do that? Haha. However you do it, keep doing it because you're doing a great job. :)
I guess the only thing you could change about this is keep the chapters a little tighter. It's fun to read their exchanges and quick banter, but it feels like the plot's taking a longer time to move on than it actually needs, if that makes any sense.
Otherwise, I'm just liking this story more and more. I hope you update soon! :)
5CuriousContradictionSomething someone already said already in the reviews, but here it is again: Devon and Rachel really have chemistry. How do you do that? Haha. However you do it, keep doing it because you're doing a great job. :)
I guess the only thing you could change about this is keep the chapters a little tighter. It's fun to read their exchanges and quick banter, but it feels like the plot's taking a longer time to move on than it actually needs, if that makes any sense.
Otherwise, I'm just liking this story more and more. I hope you update soon! :)
8/16/2009 c4 CuriousContradiction
Hahaha, very funny chapter. You're good at humor, you know that? You have a sense of comedic timing in the way you describe the scene and control the flow of the dialogue.
Hahaha, very funny chapter. You're good at humor, you know that? You have a sense of comedic timing in the way you describe the scene and control the flow of the dialogue.
8/14/2009 c7 WriterGurl123
This is such a good story! The chemistry between Devon and Rachel is so intense, I can just feel the sexual tension. lol
I hope you continue! =D
This is such a good story! The chemistry between Devon and Rachel is so intense, I can just feel the sexual tension. lol
I hope you continue! =D
8/14/2009 c1 A Merry Savant
AHAHAHA I LIKE IT
"Evans and Hunt will go undercover together as a married couple..."
But wow there's a lot of flirting going on.
AHAHAHA I LIKE IT
"Evans and Hunt will go undercover together as a married couple..."
But wow there's a lot of flirting going on.
8/14/2009 c7 5xxchristiexx
I only just found this story thanks to your friend who writes Love Game and mentioned it but I am glad she did because I love to check out stories people have commented about through their own stories. Rather than review each chapter because I don't have time. I'll save that for when I do, I will just say that is really interesting so far and I can't wait to read more.
5xxchristiexxI only just found this story thanks to your friend who writes Love Game and mentioned it but I am glad she did because I love to check out stories people have commented about through their own stories. Rather than review each chapter because I don't have time. I'll save that for when I do, I will just say that is really interesting so far and I can't wait to read more.
8/14/2009 c2 5CuriousContradiction
I liked how you gave us the background in the first chapter, but I'm not sure how well that worked in this second chapter. It felt like there was all this action and dialogue going on... and then there's a voice that's like the peanut gallery offering commentary that we either knew or didn't really need to know, like the part about how Perry didn't like people questioning his orders. I thought that was already shown pretty well. If you really really really wanted to state it, you only needed that one sentence because the rest of them in that paragraph basically just states more of the obvious and seems a little repetitive. I like your dialogue though. Your conversations are snappy and funny and you frame the scene well. Another thing: It'd be better to insert a line or something instead of writing "three and a half hours later..." Just my opinion. I know I really sounded like a jerk or hypocrite up there because I might've sounded harsh and I can't do better anyways, but hopefully that helped.
5CuriousContradictionI liked how you gave us the background in the first chapter, but I'm not sure how well that worked in this second chapter. It felt like there was all this action and dialogue going on... and then there's a voice that's like the peanut gallery offering commentary that we either knew or didn't really need to know, like the part about how Perry didn't like people questioning his orders. I thought that was already shown pretty well. If you really really really wanted to state it, you only needed that one sentence because the rest of them in that paragraph basically just states more of the obvious and seems a little repetitive. I like your dialogue though. Your conversations are snappy and funny and you frame the scene well. Another thing: It'd be better to insert a line or something instead of writing "three and a half hours later..." Just my opinion. I know I really sounded like a jerk or hypocrite up there because I might've sounded harsh and I can't do better anyways, but hopefully that helped.
8/14/2009 c1 CuriousContradiction
Hopefully this review doesn't get deleted.
First of all, just from reading the first chapter, I think this was a great story. I think you could've made it a little shorter because it seemed like a lot of information and plot for a first chapter, but it was still good. I also liked how you were able to convey all of the background by telling the reader without sounding too list-y, if you get what I mean. You didn't go on and on about physical description and personality traits. You were able to be concise and clear about any character histories that your readers needed to know. You also have a great style and voice as a writer. For example, the part about how Rachel could still taste the apple pie the director had for lunch showed us so much in a creative, original way. I hope that I can do that someday as well. :) I'm forgetting something because the other review was longer... hmm. If I think of it, I'll let you know.
You've never been to California? I think most things are the same here, except people tend to wear flip flops and shorts year round. You can ask me if you have questions though.
I liked the first chapter a lot, and I'm off to read the next! :)
Hopefully this review doesn't get deleted.
First of all, just from reading the first chapter, I think this was a great story. I think you could've made it a little shorter because it seemed like a lot of information and plot for a first chapter, but it was still good. I also liked how you were able to convey all of the background by telling the reader without sounding too list-y, if you get what I mean. You didn't go on and on about physical description and personality traits. You were able to be concise and clear about any character histories that your readers needed to know. You also have a great style and voice as a writer. For example, the part about how Rachel could still taste the apple pie the director had for lunch showed us so much in a creative, original way. I hope that I can do that someday as well. :) I'm forgetting something because the other review was longer... hmm. If I think of it, I'll let you know.
You've never been to California? I think most things are the same here, except people tend to wear flip flops and shorts year round. You can ask me if you have questions though.
I liked the first chapter a lot, and I'm off to read the next! :)
8/14/2009 c7 Dead Deactivated
I love the dress! its beautiful! I really like this story. Please write the next chappie!
I love the dress! its beautiful! I really like this story. Please write the next chappie!