for Marrying the 'Vitch'3/19/2009 c1 
1violet-eyez
lol...man i just love it, i can't wait till the next chapter. honestly i think you are a writing genius!
1violet-eyezlol...man i just love it, i can't wait till the next chapter. honestly i think you are a writing genius!
3/16/2009 c1 electricskye
aw...navleen is so enthusiastic about this. lucan was one of my favorite characters in your other story. good stuff, that. it was really interesting learning about the indian cultures, cuz i'm usually not into that stuff. and janie was priceless.
anyways, your stories, as they say, are "the SHITS" and this story seems to promise just the same. keep it up!
aw...navleen is so enthusiastic about this. lucan was one of my favorite characters in your other story. good stuff, that. it was really interesting learning about the indian cultures, cuz i'm usually not into that stuff. and janie was priceless.
anyways, your stories, as they say, are "the SHITS" and this story seems to promise just the same. keep it up!
3/15/2009 c1 5Amitaipie
oh i'm so excited! i loved hiring a hooligan, n now lucan's story! woot woot keep up the great work.
~ser
5Amitaipieoh i'm so excited! i loved hiring a hooligan, n now lucan's story! woot woot keep up the great work.
~ser
3/15/2009 c1 31writingxonxwalls
Yay! Lucan!:D I can't wait to see how his and Navleen's story unfolds..
31writingxonxwallsYay! Lucan!:D I can't wait to see how his and Navleen's story unfolds..
3/15/2009 c1 9Lyssa O
Oh Lucan...sweet, unloved (as in lack of romantic action in Hiring a Hooligan) Lucan, you are on your way to finding love! And he is in no way a nerdy bamboostickbodywielding chap-vitch! He is the hottest smart guy I've ever had the pleasure of reading about! Ooh-wee!
And I love the cultural splash! It'll make for such a cute Italian/Indian coupling. Think of their two pairs of sons!
9Lyssa OOh Lucan...sweet, unloved (as in lack of romantic action in Hiring a Hooligan) Lucan, you are on your way to finding love! And he is in no way a nerdy bamboostickbodywielding chap-vitch! He is the hottest smart guy I've ever had the pleasure of reading about! Ooh-wee!
And I love the cultural splash! It'll make for such a cute Italian/Indian coupling. Think of their two pairs of sons!
3/15/2009 c1 28Erisah Mae
Hehe, cannot wait to see where this goes :) I love finding stories that aren't written by white-bread US Americans and this already looks like it's going to be at least as much fun to read as Hooligan.
Update soon!
Erisah
28Erisah MaeHehe, cannot wait to see where this goes :) I love finding stories that aren't written by white-bread US Americans and this already looks like it's going to be at least as much fun to read as Hooligan.
Update soon!
Erisah
3/14/2009 c1 1bubble headed
Lol. I totally love this already even though it's the first chapter. And Navleen's mom was hilarious. She reminds me a bit of my mom. And this Kaala Maa simply cracked me up. She's horrible and funny. Looking forward to the next chapter. :)
1bubble headedLol. I totally love this already even though it's the first chapter. And Navleen's mom was hilarious. She reminds me a bit of my mom. And this Kaala Maa simply cracked me up. She's horrible and funny. Looking forward to the next chapter. :)
3/14/2009 c1 alwaysautumn
Hey deena,
What can I say? I cracked up so much at "That doesn’t sound like a Hindu name to me,- with my parents are more like "Is he an Indian boy?" but the same gist :) haha and of course "not of the lesbian"- not to be confused with lebanese lol...bend it like beckham was awesome
I gotta say your analogies are purely genius!
"Sure she smelled like the low-ballin’ testicles of a water buffalo.Sure she dressed in rags that weren’t fit to clean dried diarrhea off a toilet bowl with. Sure she made like she had severe rheumatoid arthritis and gimped around with a splintered scrap of wood that looked like a Cro-Magnon had used it to a kill a wooly mammoth."
"Her skin was the same colour and texture as an almond that had been sitting out in the Gobi desert for a few centuries."
~ they are really interesting- lol and they give you a very graphic mental image.
LOL- "Mum slipped another wad of crumpled Rupees into Kaala Maa’s strategically opened palm." - I loved that.. i think street performs do that there too, they won't finish unless you hand over the money..haha the cheap skates
Oh and how can you resist that accent? "His name is not of the HurryGundholf!".."You vill marry…a vitch! A chap-vitch!"
Extremely entertaining and slightly embrassing at the same time you can never really escape that accent can you? Some idiots in my class last year tried putting one on- lets just say they could've been trying to put an Irish accent on and you wouldn't have known the difference. I thought what you did was also pretty smart- the way you organized the dialogue because it meant that Nevleen didn't grow up in India OR she went to and international school and picked up some of her friends accents OR the more obvious -didn't grow up in India and was just her for a visit/holiday- because she doesn't have an accent.. well at least and Indian one.
I guess Nevleen (what's her nickname going to be? Nevleen's a bit of a mouthful)is all set- the deal is already signed, sealed and delivered; you know because as you as Kaala Maa said,"It is destined that he vill give her a two pair of sons at least!" What is it with Asian cultures and boys? - I know why.. but it just sucks~ girls are just as awesome as guys:)oh and I was wondering was Kaala Maa insinuating twins or just two sons?
Having Nev’s(yes, sorry I’m lazy like that) personality completely different from Jane’s is awesome:), because having two Janie-like people would be weird and slightly hard to understand XD. And YAY I really did want to learn more about Lucan! He deserves his own story, lol “ he’s just too cute to boot”. I can’t wait to see Nev’s and her mum’s reaction to Lucan :D, bhahaha it’s going to be unforgettable!
Great start! Can't wait to read more!
x reeka
P.s wo for gulab jaamans they are my favourites right after jalabies -hehe anothe long review...I know I keep on writing heaps.. I'm going to try and cut down on the babbling XD
Hey deena,
What can I say? I cracked up so much at "That doesn’t sound like a Hindu name to me,- with my parents are more like "Is he an Indian boy?" but the same gist :) haha and of course "not of the lesbian"- not to be confused with lebanese lol...bend it like beckham was awesome
I gotta say your analogies are purely genius!
"Sure she smelled like the low-ballin’ testicles of a water buffalo.Sure she dressed in rags that weren’t fit to clean dried diarrhea off a toilet bowl with. Sure she made like she had severe rheumatoid arthritis and gimped around with a splintered scrap of wood that looked like a Cro-Magnon had used it to a kill a wooly mammoth."
"Her skin was the same colour and texture as an almond that had been sitting out in the Gobi desert for a few centuries."
~ they are really interesting- lol and they give you a very graphic mental image.
LOL- "Mum slipped another wad of crumpled Rupees into Kaala Maa’s strategically opened palm." - I loved that.. i think street performs do that there too, they won't finish unless you hand over the money..haha the cheap skates
Oh and how can you resist that accent? "His name is not of the HurryGundholf!".."You vill marry…a vitch! A chap-vitch!"
Extremely entertaining and slightly embrassing at the same time you can never really escape that accent can you? Some idiots in my class last year tried putting one on- lets just say they could've been trying to put an Irish accent on and you wouldn't have known the difference. I thought what you did was also pretty smart- the way you organized the dialogue because it meant that Nevleen didn't grow up in India OR she went to and international school and picked up some of her friends accents OR the more obvious -didn't grow up in India and was just her for a visit/holiday- because she doesn't have an accent.. well at least and Indian one.
I guess Nevleen (what's her nickname going to be? Nevleen's a bit of a mouthful)is all set- the deal is already signed, sealed and delivered; you know because as you as Kaala Maa said,"It is destined that he vill give her a two pair of sons at least!" What is it with Asian cultures and boys? - I know why.. but it just sucks~ girls are just as awesome as guys:)oh and I was wondering was Kaala Maa insinuating twins or just two sons?
Having Nev’s(yes, sorry I’m lazy like that) personality completely different from Jane’s is awesome:), because having two Janie-like people would be weird and slightly hard to understand XD. And YAY I really did want to learn more about Lucan! He deserves his own story, lol “ he’s just too cute to boot”. I can’t wait to see Nev’s and her mum’s reaction to Lucan :D, bhahaha it’s going to be unforgettable!
Great start! Can't wait to read more!
x reeka
P.s wo for gulab jaamans they are my favourites right after jalabies -hehe anothe long review...I know I keep on writing heaps.. I'm going to try and cut down on the babbling XD
3/14/2009 c1 1Trench Coats Suck
Hey
Well I really like this whole idea and maybe this character more then Janie though I love her, only because I can understand what she's saying unlike Janie because reading Hiring a Hoodlin could get really hard sometimes, I suck at sciece and maths so yeah but she doesn't seem into those at all more normal I guess is the word and easy to relate too, anyway I love the whole concept and all though I never loved Luca AS MUCH as Rafe maybe in this story I will, anyways update soon aka sooner then it takes you to update hiring a hoogliam, and oh I have a couple of questions how long will it take to finihs this in months and in chapters do you think, just wondering really and will Janie and Rafe be included in this story can't wait too hear more update asap
1Trench Coats SuckHey
Well I really like this whole idea and maybe this character more then Janie though I love her, only because I can understand what she's saying unlike Janie because reading Hiring a Hoodlin could get really hard sometimes, I suck at sciece and maths so yeah but she doesn't seem into those at all more normal I guess is the word and easy to relate too, anyway I love the whole concept and all though I never loved Luca AS MUCH as Rafe maybe in this story I will, anyways update soon aka sooner then it takes you to update hiring a hoogliam, and oh I have a couple of questions how long will it take to finihs this in months and in chapters do you think, just wondering really and will Janie and Rafe be included in this story can't wait too hear more update asap
3/14/2009 c1 2akaCHEEKS
haha. that's hella fucking hilarious! haha. oh my gosh man. wait did Navleen not grow up in India, cause she didn't seem to have an accent like the fortune teller and her mom. I mean you wrote them in there, so we know how they talked i assumed. oh and by the way, your summary was kick ass! it reeled me in the moment i read it!
2akaCHEEKShaha. that's hella fucking hilarious! haha. oh my gosh man. wait did Navleen not grow up in India, cause she didn't seem to have an accent like the fortune teller and her mom. I mean you wrote them in there, so we know how they talked i assumed. oh and by the way, your summary was kick ass! it reeled me in the moment i read it!