for why is she leaving?3/22/2009 c1 
612simpleplan13
“Why doesn’t every on leave?”… everyone. Also, shouldn’t it be does since this is about people leaving, not staying.
”Why if there are many questions?/Aren’t’ there any answers?”… that first line is not a sentence on it’s own, it’s a beginning clause to the second line. Also, it should be Aren’t
I like the idea here. It asks a lot of good questions and makes the reader want to know more about the situation. However, I think a lot of the questions and especially those last two lines are very clichéd. I might try to phrase things with unique word choices or something. Still, it’s a nice piece.
PS If you’re bored check out the Review Game and/or the Review Marathon (links in my profile).
612simpleplan13“Why doesn’t every on leave?”… everyone. Also, shouldn’t it be does since this is about people leaving, not staying.
”Why if there are many questions?/Aren’t’ there any answers?”… that first line is not a sentence on it’s own, it’s a beginning clause to the second line. Also, it should be Aren’t
I like the idea here. It asks a lot of good questions and makes the reader want to know more about the situation. However, I think a lot of the questions and especially those last two lines are very clichéd. I might try to phrase things with unique word choices or something. Still, it’s a nice piece.
PS If you’re bored check out the Review Game and/or the Review Marathon (links in my profile).
3/21/2009 c1 36Irina Samuels
Good, I personally like the style with the constant questions. Just one grammatical error; I think 'every on' is supposed to be 'everyone' maybe? Again, this might have been intentional, but I thought I'd point it out.
~Irina
36Irina SamuelsGood, I personally like the style with the constant questions. Just one grammatical error; I think 'every on' is supposed to be 'everyone' maybe? Again, this might have been intentional, but I thought I'd point it out.
~Irina