for Survival of the Fattest8/16/2010 c1 
8Kobra Kid
Haha, wow. I did not expect this story to be about fat people saving the now destoryed Earth from aliens.
It was rather amusing, but I sorta felt like you rushed through it. Maybe add more descriptions about how Nina's team was killed off, and the aliens, and what exactly Earth looks like.
Besides that, it was an intruiging beginning & rather funny. I don't have anything against fat people, but I after all of the movies I've seen I can't imagine fat people saving the world, except for Paul Blart. x)
~B. Cross from the Roadhouse
8Kobra KidHaha, wow. I did not expect this story to be about fat people saving the now destoryed Earth from aliens.
It was rather amusing, but I sorta felt like you rushed through it. Maybe add more descriptions about how Nina's team was killed off, and the aliens, and what exactly Earth looks like.
Besides that, it was an intruiging beginning & rather funny. I don't have anything against fat people, but I after all of the movies I've seen I can't imagine fat people saving the world, except for Paul Blart. x)
~B. Cross from the Roadhouse
8/15/2010 c1 10Katerzzz
Hey, thanks for reviewing Jack's London.
I like this, it's a good start, though I for one am not too keen on big chunky paragraphs, hurts my eyes. But apart from that it is a good start. Nice character introduction and good descriptive techniques. Tres Bon as they say in France Looking forward to see where this is going and I will watch with enjoyment.
Thanks,
Katerzz :)
10KaterzzzHey, thanks for reviewing Jack's London.
I like this, it's a good start, though I for one am not too keen on big chunky paragraphs, hurts my eyes. But apart from that it is a good start. Nice character introduction and good descriptive techniques. Tres Bon as they say in France Looking forward to see where this is going and I will watch with enjoyment.
Thanks,
Katerzz :)
5/7/2010 c9 Alphatau
The idea behind this story rules and it was very amusing (the weight descriptions seemed to get me a lot).
The story itself appears to be a little rushed (I do that too), maybe you could drag on some of the details. Um maybe not go crazy and write half pages like some but a few more lines would be cool.
Maybe you could separate out the paragraphs a little more? Well that’s optional.
The idea rules though.
The idea behind this story rules and it was very amusing (the weight descriptions seemed to get me a lot).
The story itself appears to be a little rushed (I do that too), maybe you could drag on some of the details. Um maybe not go crazy and write half pages like some but a few more lines would be cool.
Maybe you could separate out the paragraphs a little more? Well that’s optional.
The idea rules though.