3/24/2009 c1 Chancee
Yes it does show but it is a very good piece none the less. I

could feel that the object of their affection is truly a double-edged sword and the words speak to that very well.

Your tone is displayed well throughout the entire song and I think that is a well planned work, however I normally don't do poetry or songs for that matter.

Now the first line threw me with the rotting fruit bit, but I think I understood what you meant. You may have needed something stronger for the intro there, but the line of the song for me is - ' First Kiss was a gateway drug' and 'It would feel cold to burn at the stake' Lots of feeling in those, IMO, so very good.

Now like I said I am no expert, but if you would like to get even more reviews from poets and such then you should come over to the Roadhouse Forum.

There are a lot of good people and a delightful bar to order up reviews fromt he patrons. Stop by and chat with us a bit.

Good job and hope to see you at the bar!

Momo/Annie~ The Roadhouse