for I am still your home7/14/2009 c1 
612simpleplan13
I like the title. It adds an interesting element to the piece. I did like the piece itself, but something seemed awkward. I think it was the punctuation and the word lights. I couldn't tell if you meant lights as a noun or verb. The comma seemed odd if it was a verb, but it seems to fit better if it was a verb. I do like the descriptions though, they were really great.
612simpleplan13I like the title. It adds an interesting element to the piece. I did like the piece itself, but something seemed awkward. I think it was the punctuation and the word lights. I couldn't tell if you meant lights as a noun or verb. The comma seemed odd if it was a verb, but it seems to fit better if it was a verb. I do like the descriptions though, they were really great.
4/19/2009 c1 May Elizabeth
I really like this. The imagery is lovely but simple. I think of a pine surviving a thunderstorm for some reason. Peace.
I really like this. The imagery is lovely but simple. I think of a pine surviving a thunderstorm for some reason. Peace.
4/4/2009 c1 6Kalista Jia
ah I am not quite sure what haiku is. must be some type of poem.
I find this haiku original. Short and simple. Black thunder huh... sounds freaking amazing. Despite all the chaos going around the pine still stands. wow...
6Kalista Jiaah I am not quite sure what haiku is. must be some type of poem.
I find this haiku original. Short and simple. Black thunder huh... sounds freaking amazing. Despite all the chaos going around the pine still stands. wow...
3/27/2009 c1 13Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu
Erm, I'm no guru in Haiku judging, but imo every work should have a central theme. Unfortunately, I don't really see it here. Given the fact that this is your first shot at the genre though, I'm not going to fault you. It takes real courage for a writer to write something completely beyond his field. For this, you have my respect. tbh I don't think I can ever have the balls to do so. :S
On a side note though, this work reminds me of Slayer's Instant Kill move in the Guilty Gear series. Nevermind if you don't know what I'm talking about here. It's actually a fighting video game and one thing I've found out is that people here are not too familiar with this genre of gaming. :S
And if this review seems mean to you, then all I can say is sorry. I don't mean to be mean, but I'm not too good in phrasing my words in this kind of situation. Hope yo won't take offense on what I've said in my criticisms. :(
13Tsumujikaze no SoujutsuErm, I'm no guru in Haiku judging, but imo every work should have a central theme. Unfortunately, I don't really see it here. Given the fact that this is your first shot at the genre though, I'm not going to fault you. It takes real courage for a writer to write something completely beyond his field. For this, you have my respect. tbh I don't think I can ever have the balls to do so. :S
On a side note though, this work reminds me of Slayer's Instant Kill move in the Guilty Gear series. Nevermind if you don't know what I'm talking about here. It's actually a fighting video game and one thing I've found out is that people here are not too familiar with this genre of gaming. :S
And if this review seems mean to you, then all I can say is sorry. I don't mean to be mean, but I'm not too good in phrasing my words in this kind of situation. Hope yo won't take offense on what I've said in my criticisms. :(
3/27/2009 c1 138lael1bologna
Honestly, I am very recent n reviewing haikus, but i really like this one. It gave good impact. And I love the "black thunder" theme too!
138lael1bolognaHonestly, I am very recent n reviewing haikus, but i really like this one. It gave good impact. And I love the "black thunder" theme too!
3/26/2009 c1 5R. E. Ellison
There ya go!
Here's a haiku in the correct form and even the correct subject matter (nature).
Props!
I enjoy the underlying message about persevering (or maybe you didn't intend it?) It's there, anyway.
5R. E. EllisonThere ya go!
Here's a haiku in the correct form and even the correct subject matter (nature).
Props!
I enjoy the underlying message about persevering (or maybe you didn't intend it?) It's there, anyway.