for The Alliances2/23/2017 c1 JP
Grammar and sentence structure; I see that you had tried to refrain from using repetitive words however some of the words you used are in the wrong context.
Grammar and sentence structure; I see that you had tried to refrain from using repetitive words however some of the words you used are in the wrong context.
6/25/2013 c1 Guest
needs to more of the story
needs to more of the story
6/7/2013 c1 Jojo
didnt really get it
didnt really get it
5/16/2013 c1 Guest
Not particularly well written. The dialogue sounds like its passing between 60 year old english teachers, but the story seems to point to children? Also, the spelling spoils it a little bit and the characters are a bit silly
Not particularly well written. The dialogue sounds like its passing between 60 year old english teachers, but the story seems to point to children? Also, the spelling spoils it a little bit and the characters are a bit silly
4/15/2013 c1 nghn
hjvhcghn vbncvghmjncghncgn
hjvhcghn vbncvghmjncghncgn
7/29/2012 c1 
18Bushwah
A staggering number of errors, including "undeads" when "undead" is both plural and singular...
But a good fic, nevertheless.
18BushwahA staggering number of errors, including "undeads" when "undead" is both plural and singular...
But a good fic, nevertheless.
2/25/2011 c8 7MacBear
First off, you have terrible grammar. Second, plot, logic and characterisation were terrible. Third, if an adolecent girl could beat a zombie, why couldn't a grown man? Really, this story is terrible. There was no background information in the first chapter; where did the zombies come from anyway? Why are people STILL going about their lives when there are MINDLESS FLESH EATING BASTARDS out and about? You really need to improve. Oh, and the fact that your chapters are basically nothing but dialog and movements really doesn't help.
7MacBearFirst off, you have terrible grammar. Second, plot, logic and characterisation were terrible. Third, if an adolecent girl could beat a zombie, why couldn't a grown man? Really, this story is terrible. There was no background information in the first chapter; where did the zombies come from anyway? Why are people STILL going about their lives when there are MINDLESS FLESH EATING BASTARDS out and about? You really need to improve. Oh, and the fact that your chapters are basically nothing but dialog and movements really doesn't help.
2/25/2011 c8 pooponastick
its realy good hmm maby u should make part 2 and also wat kindoff girl nam is carl
its realy good hmm maby u should make part 2 and also wat kindoff girl nam is carl
2/19/2011 c7 123
one word ... EPIC
one word ... EPIC
10/7/2010 c5 happywheels
This story is so great I can look past the bad (terrible, TERRIBLE) grammar. If this is what it takes for you to write, I don't care! I'll keep reading even if you start writing backwards...eh...sdrawkcab. HAHAHAH!
This story is so great I can look past the bad (terrible, TERRIBLE) grammar. If this is what it takes for you to write, I don't care! I'll keep reading even if you start writing backwards...eh...sdrawkcab. HAHAHAH!
9/19/2010 c4 1xXxXfallenxangel
That was really really really good! so much suspense though...anyways it's really good.
1xXxXfallenxangelThat was really really really good! so much suspense though...anyways it's really good.
6/25/2010 c1 Damien Bryson
I found... countless grammatical errors within your story plus the description of Quebec city as being a small town.
I found... countless grammatical errors within your story plus the description of Quebec city as being a small town.
5/23/2010 c1 eiyuang999
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