for To Control Me8/10/2009 c1 
2Paradis
Wow, this is deep stuff...Really good :3 I love the ending, its pretty powerful. Good job :)
2ParadisWow, this is deep stuff...Really good :3 I love the ending, its pretty powerful. Good job :)
5/26/2009 c1 Amarisu
I personally like the last 5 or so lines the best. Although I've never been that fond of poetry, I can't help adoring your work.
I personally like the last 5 or so lines the best. Although I've never been that fond of poetry, I can't help adoring your work.
5/21/2009 c1 15Hehe-Blixie
gives shadow hug. someones feeling down in the dumps. i really liked this. My favorite line was the "the tickling of a sharpened feather." that was a really cool line.
-Blix
15Hehe-Blixiegives shadow hug. someones feeling down in the dumps. i really liked this. My favorite line was the "the tickling of a sharpened feather." that was a really cool line.
-Blix
5/14/2009 c1 32Skye Hegyes
I love the line "tickling of a sharpened feather." It is a paradox that works rather well and makes complete sense in the same fashion. I know I don't think of something sharp has having the ability to tickle. Great line.
Over all, I liked this. Poetry is not my strong point - at all. Failed every poetry assignment in English actually because I just don't get it. This... this was completely understandable though.
32Skye HegyesI love the line "tickling of a sharpened feather." It is a paradox that works rather well and makes complete sense in the same fashion. I know I don't think of something sharp has having the ability to tickle. Great line.
Over all, I liked this. Poetry is not my strong point - at all. Failed every poetry assignment in English actually because I just don't get it. This... this was completely understandable though.
5/1/2009 c1 2Sarthim
Quite gripping. I liked the build-up to the end. The spacing of the words also provided dramatic emphasis where it was needed. Great work.
2SarthimQuite gripping. I liked the build-up to the end. The spacing of the words also provided dramatic emphasis where it was needed. Great work.
4/30/2009 c1 7plumbucket
A lot of what you have written hear rings true to me. I really enjoy the flow, as well as the effect presented by the text blocking. You provided some very interesting contrast here (sharpened feather, for instance, imparts the fantastic feeling of the delicate against the deadly).
Thank you for the experience,
Push
7plumbucketA lot of what you have written hear rings true to me. I really enjoy the flow, as well as the effect presented by the text blocking. You provided some very interesting contrast here (sharpened feather, for instance, imparts the fantastic feeling of the delicate against the deadly).
Thank you for the experience,
Push
4/11/2009 c1 9AliceofNarnia
I enjoyed this poem a lot. The emotion is sad but also makes it seem as if the speaker will never "give up" in a sense, because they knew they weren't the one who did the wrong. I think that more imagery might make this piece a little more interesting, although I like the vagueness of imagery that it has right now. I guess it depends on if you want to "paint the picture" for the reader, or if you want to leave it up to their imaginations to do so. Either way, great poem.
AliceofNarnia
9AliceofNarniaI enjoyed this poem a lot. The emotion is sad but also makes it seem as if the speaker will never "give up" in a sense, because they knew they weren't the one who did the wrong. I think that more imagery might make this piece a little more interesting, although I like the vagueness of imagery that it has right now. I guess it depends on if you want to "paint the picture" for the reader, or if you want to leave it up to their imaginations to do so. Either way, great poem.
AliceofNarnia
4/4/2009 c1 8beadlety
Hello again!
You should give yourself some credit, because this poem really is quite good. The contrary image of a "sharpened feather" is just brilliant, and the paradoxical descriptions of being "chained" yet "slipping from this life" are excellent.
Keep up the great work!
beadlety
8beadletyHello again!
You should give yourself some credit, because this poem really is quite good. The contrary image of a "sharpened feather" is just brilliant, and the paradoxical descriptions of being "chained" yet "slipping from this life" are excellent.
Keep up the great work!
beadlety
3/30/2009 c1 HalfBloodPrincess
oh I LOVE THIS ONE TOO! I absolutley LOVE the ending! Its not smug, there's another word for it which im looking for, but its absolutley BRILLIANT! This one's going in favourites too!
:)
bella
oh I LOVE THIS ONE TOO! I absolutley LOVE the ending! Its not smug, there's another word for it which im looking for, but its absolutley BRILLIANT! This one's going in favourites too!
:)
bella
3/30/2009 c1 3Alexander cruz
I really loved the poem and it truly showed the idea of control the poem flowed very smoothly in my opinion.
it was a trully wonderful poem.
and thanks for the review it will help me improve in my writing
3Alexander cruzI really loved the poem and it truly showed the idea of control the poem flowed very smoothly in my opinion.
it was a trully wonderful poem.
and thanks for the review it will help me improve in my writing