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for Grey Dreams

10/7/2009 c1 1SweetDreamsHolden
I love how raw and angsty this is. My favorite one is 'Poetic' because I think it strikes deja vu in most everyone. I think everyone feels like that sometimes, and while most people can't even describe the undefined sentimentalness ( not a word? ), you've managed to make a writing out of it. It like you tangled your fingers over our minds and whipped out something no one could portray. There are some little typos, but I'm sure that people have told you before and maybe you like to keep the pure 1:30ness in your writing.
9/8/2009 c1 BrownEyes11
This is really good, really intense. Even with a few grammar mistakes (not being all high and mighty here, I hate when people do that) it's still intense. Not a lot of stories can do that. I like how you hint at things, like talking to the person, "remember the time when..." It's cool.
9/8/2009 c3 29YasuRan
I had a sort of epiphany when I read this. When you described yourself on the carpet, musing about life while your parents fight, I just thought "Yeah, that's me too" :). Thank you for posting this. So much.
7/30/2009 c3 1xenolith
I thought it was good. I think I get it... kinda.
7/24/2009 c2 xenolith
This is really something, you know. 'Vodka, lemon and bodies...' that was... that was... I don't know. Maybe it hit a nerve maybe I can relate to it or better yet, maybe the resentment and thought you put into this is actually, truly moving. I like it, a lot. I'll be interested to see if you add on to this.
6/12/2009 c2 tangerine dreamer
this is very interesting. i wasn't sure what it was going to be about in the beginning but something about it made me want to read more.

there are quite a number of grammatical mistakes in both chapters, but overall the writing is good. there's a certain style that fits with the story.

keep writing!
6/12/2009 c2 29YasuRan
Wow, this is a really unique style of writing. I'm especially fond of the last paragraph :). Hope you keep writing!
4/4/2009 c1 1musicstar1
I liked it. Although it was too short. But great job!
4/4/2009 c1 53Katie Nicole
I actually quite like this, a lot.

The only thing that really slows it down is the abundance of typos and grammatical errors. It's amazing how typos add up and make an entire, beautiful piece seem immature. Such is the case with this work - the context is great. I always did think the best stories are true, or are inspired by something near and dear to you, something you can relate to or that happened in real life.

I'm guessing this isn't fiction, which is cool, because most of my work isn't, either. And the subject is very interesting - I wanted to keep reading. I like that it's directed to the person you're talking about - you didn't write this for the reader, you wrote it for him and for yourself. And even though you don't do it in intimate detail (which is fine), you sort of explain what happened, how you feel, and how you've moved on - or perhaps how you're trying to move on, but can only make it so far.

I guess I'm not doing a very good job of explaining why I enjoyed this, so just know that I did. If you went through, cleaned it up again and reposted, I think it's impact would be even deeper.

Great work for 1:30 am [:


4/4/2009 c1 101Benjamin Gainsborough
Pretty intense writing and emotions. But there are people like that. They are all the same.

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