1/7/2010 c1 1RetardedChicken
Wow, so cool. I love the ear and the mouth part, good metaphores. Nice work!

12/16/2009 c1 9Narq
-Flow - like most of the poems I've read of yours, the flow is good. It was good you had the () in the second stanza because if you didn't, it would've interrupted the flow. I liked your repetition of "I am an ear and you are a mouth". I felt the flow in the third stanza was a bit funny though, and that might be because it has three lines instead of four.

-Descriptions/images - Although the imagery words in this poem was only ear and mouth, it actually illustrated, quite clearly, what you wanted the reader to see. But I think you could maybe add some senseous imagery in it, ie, what you see, hear, feel, taste, (but since you only have an ear and mouth, just what you say and hear would be good enough)

-Enjoyment - I thoroghly enjoyed this piece. It was really original and I thought that you were really clever in putting in the eye (and I realised 'eye' has as pun to 'I' so then you might be meaning that they are not selfish... but then, I might just be reading too much Shakespeare)

-Punctuation and grammar - Unlike the lat piece, you do have quite a lot of puncuation in this. It helped at in knowing the rhythem of this poem. And grammer - well, personally I never think about grammer when I'm writing ppoems because we, poets, have something called poetic liscence! So... nothing WRONG with GRAMMER!

haha.

Narq.