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for The Mother of Shadows: An Alternative History

2/16/2010 c3 3Typing Typhoon
Fear me. I've found your profile. I also remembered your awesome fic so I thought I'd drop in. I wasn't dissapointed in the slightest. You have an amazing story going here. Cool points.
2/13/2010 c45 pinoy1
The email address is correct plus the password. I cant understand why it does not work for you. Try again later.
1/22/2010 c42 3SeeRad
You continue to amaze me at the prolific amount of stories and plots you have in your head.

Another example of literary might.
12/27/2009 c38 SeeRad
Great! As always.
12/2/2009 c14 48Michael Panush
These two chapters were much the same as the previous two. The Indian, who I think might be a certain trickster spider you are fond of, sounded way too matter-of-fact for the roguish, dimension-hopping entity that he is. He should have been making plays of words, cracking wise, and generally making a fool of everyone around of him. However, I actually did like your characterization of the French. They did sound pretty evil, and most importantly, they sounded differently than the characters of other nationalities. However, I thought the Point of View character in those segments was Abeni, and this bit slipped into Talleyrand's thought's a bit. Just watch that in the future. I'll certainly keep reading.
12/2/2009 c10 Michael Panush
Hey, been a while since I read this series, but I'm finally catching up. These past two chapters have some good ideas, and I liked the treeman and the growing shape of the war, with strategies and such, but the modern phrases are really killing me. I mean, ecomercenary? They're saying ecomercenary in the early 1800s? The prefix 'eco' was certainly not being used back then, and the whole process of creating new words by mashing parts of other words together is fairly modern. I know you don't think it's a big deal, but that really pulled me straight out of the story. Also, the characters continue to sound too similar, regardless of their nationality. British guy could have said 'bloody hell' or something similar when he became a plant-man. Well, I'll keep reading, but I really think you should put more effort into those things.
10/17/2009 c1 pinoy1
This message is a follow-up question to my earlier review. I'm sending this message to both Michael and Jave Harron.

Do the both of you guys think it is creatively feasible to write a Indiana Jones-style pulp story wherein a 20th century archaeologist discovers a buried spacecraft?

I'm thinking that the best time to set this fic is the late 50s or early 60s right smack in the middle of the cold war?

What do you think?

Does the story have merit?

I know it's been done before,however it may be possible to repackage the story into something new?

Perhaps with a very tense political background like the Cuban Missile crisis of the Kennedy years.

Just humor me, try and entertain the idea, experiment with it in your head if it can be made into a workable plot.

All I'm asking is your

collective opinion.
10/9/2009 c2 3Typing Typhoon
Hey, wazzup? Remember me? Man, I totally forgot all about this story! Chapter 2 is just as talented as the first one. Fast paced and interesting, you've got yourself another winner here.
8/1/2009 c1 40Jean Clement
This is very well-written, and got me hooked right away. Your writing is so visual I could see the scene unfold before my eyes.

I really envy you your imagination: this mix of history and science-fiction is an amazing idea, and you develop it wonderfully well.

7/18/2009 c16 7Haku
You've hit the nail on the head with Glan Conwy, as it happens. Very good portrayal from someone who's never visited. If you want, I can see if I can't get a photo taken of one of the old local cromlechs (stone structures) to throw in a bit of authenticity?
5/27/2009 c8 48Michael Panush
It was cool to see more of the Viking, but the whole 'threatening speech to scare prisoners' doesn't seem that Viking. I don't think the Norse collected skulls either. That was an Irish thing, and a Classical Age Irish thing at that. His dialogue did sound very authentic though. The fanatical hatred of monotheists seems a little odd too. I hope the next time this guy is around, he's swinging his awesome chainsaw-axe in some battle.
5/17/2009 c7 Michael Panush
There were some good things in here. As always, the whacky technologies were fun to read about, and I loved the crazy Viking berserker. I hope we get more of him. There are still some problems with the odd modern turn of phrase, and I feel that some of the chapters end too soon. I would prefer a more detailed look at the world and the politics, and knowing just who controls what and is at war with who would be helpful. Also, the French seem cartoonishly evil in this. With Napoleon's penis suit and Tallyrand demanding sex from his followers, they seem just too outlandishly villainous to take seriously. You can still make a good nasty Napoleon without dressing him in cock clothes.
4/26/2009 c3 Michael Panush
This is shaping up to be a very nice series. I like all the crazy Napoleon attacks everywhere, and the undead dino-riding mongols were pretty cool. It does seem to suffer from the same problems that plagued Father of Lights, though. Namely, there's not enough description so I have trouble picturing certain things. The modern ways of writings, referring to children as 'kids' for instance, also takes me out of the fantastic Napoleonic world. Otherwise, I look forward to the next installment.


Michael Panush
4/14/2009 c2 1xenolith
Soo COOL! I love this story and the way you write it. Can't wait for more!
4/10/2009 c1 48Michael Panush
This was a very good opening, and despite your descision not to use period-speak, I think most othe dialogue in this chapter sounded quite authentic. The 'oh shit' bit at the end was a bit off. 'Hell's Bells' or 'Good Lord' would have worked better, but other than that, everything seemed spot-on. I liked the battle, the very cool troops used on all sides, and I look forward to what is going to happen next. Will we see Napoleon cross the channel? And will the British be the good guys in this one? Also, have you ever read the Sharpe series, by Bernard Cornwell? They tell about a comman British redcoat during the Napoleonic war and might give you some good details into how people acted and talked. The 'black hat' you mentioned is a shako, I think.

Anyway, good job and I look forward to reading more.


Michael Panush
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