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for Fallen Sunset

9/10/2009 c10 uponatyme
Storms a brewin'...

OH! And apparently fictionpress blocks the site I've been TRYING to tell you about.

The first word is writers. The second word is cafe. And it is a dot org. HOPEFULLY that shows through. Okay, so, yeah. That's what I've been talking about. _
9/10/2009 c9 uponatyme
I'm really really really proud of you. I don't really know why, because I have no hand in what you've been doing. I guess the only other word I have for it is...honored. I'm honored to be reading this story because that was just about the best plot twist I've read from an amateur writing in just about forever. I've always been really excited about your Fallen saga, but I think this chapter made me happy that I've stuck with it. Sebastion has come full circle, and the readers who thought they knew him now find they've just bared scraped the surface. Mind-blowing!

I'm actually a little mad at myself for not having checked back to read your new chapters in a while. I've been on , and have been caught up in the community that I've found there. Honestly (and I think I've suggested this before) you should think about making an account there. I know quite a few people who would love to read this, if only it were posted on the site!

Great job. I just can't stop saying that. GREAT JOB!
8/9/2009 c8 uponatyme

Oh, that was heartwrenching. My chest feels heavy reading this. That's a good thing, it means you developed Oden well, well enough that I was emotionally invested in him! Ugh, so sad!

I don't know if you're already aware, but there's this other site called and it's pretty amazing. I made an account there about a week ago, and I like it ten times more than fictionpress. There's a real community feeling, I've met tons of people who write really well and tons have found my writing and given me feedback. It seems to be a lot more active than FictionPress, and I'm thinking about making the move permanent. If you're interested, you should definitely check it out! I thought maybe you might want to display your work in a place where it would get some more screen time. Look me up, I'm under the same account name, uponatyme.
7/25/2009 c7 uponatyme
Oh, Sebastion...You're breaking my heart! ='[

I'm emotionally invested, so this is a very good thing. I can see that you're going down the whole "good man becoming the very enemy he is fighting" thing, but remember: You shouldn't make Sebastion entirely despicable. Every now and then, give us a glimpse of that old Sebastion we knew and loved, remind us of why we cared about him in the first place.

It makes the fact that he's walking the dark path even more heart wrenching.

Again, just a few suggestions! Keep up the good work!
7/11/2009 c7 Vanessa
I like this chapter...I'm very curious about what's going to happen with Sebastean since he's able to kill people more easily now. Will he continue or realize it's wrong? I like this setup and I am excited for you to keep going :)
4/12/2009 c2 uponatyme
O, a little back-connection to Earth, eh? This Erin character has the same last name as a character from your other story, the library one? Any connection?
4/12/2009 c1 uponatyme
Yet another chapter in the story of Fallen! I can't contain my excitement! I don't know if the poem in the movie is the same as the one in the book, but in the LoTR movie, the line is "mist and shadow," not twilight, so I dunno...

It's great that you're getting a direction, I can definitely read the difference. Action scenes are undoubtedly your strongpoint; everything flows so fluidly!

Great work, keep on going, watch your tenses, and keep writing! Oh, and tell me your secret to getting your story out of your head! Mine seems to be stuck there, I'm too lazy to put it into words =[ It feels like such a waste, but it seems like the biggest thing to overcome is sitting down and just WRITING. *sigh* Anywho, love it. If my career path works out, don't be surprised if I contact you to represent your work. =]

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