for That Which Can't Be Claimed6/17/2009 c1 
4HippieBarbie
I thought this was fantastic, I loved the flow of it and I totally understood what you were trying to say.
"The decision is mutual and therefore be warned,
Don’t take for granted what is not yours."
these two lines really grabbed me for some reason. Excellent job.
4HippieBarbieI thought this was fantastic, I loved the flow of it and I totally understood what you were trying to say.
"The decision is mutual and therefore be warned,
Don’t take for granted what is not yours."
these two lines really grabbed me for some reason. Excellent job.
5/9/2009 c1 4The-Golden-Hour
nicee work =]
it makes you think alot about things so it does.
good job! =D
P_S
4The-Golden-Hournicee work =]
it makes you think alot about things so it does.
good job! =D
P_S
4/29/2009 c1 173Little girl Big world
The title and summary really got me intrigued in this piece and then reading it I was amazed! Absolutely heartbreaking. I like how you say, "That was the first mistake I made,
Taking that which can’t be claimed."
Nice wording with those lines and just through out the entire poem. Great ending...Very sad :(
173Little girl Big worldThe title and summary really got me intrigued in this piece and then reading it I was amazed! Absolutely heartbreaking. I like how you say, "That was the first mistake I made,
Taking that which can’t be claimed."
Nice wording with those lines and just through out the entire poem. Great ending...Very sad :(
4/20/2009 c1 1Harlee Rae
I...Am...Speechless! well not really seeing as I said that but..well...you get the point...
1Harlee RaeI...Am...Speechless! well not really seeing as I said that but..well...you get the point...
4/14/2009 c1 2Forgive Yet Never Forget
wow, that was really beautiful :) I liked the "It is not yours to keep, then reject" Part a lot and your endings always end just right lol your poems are very beautiful.
2Forgive Yet Never Forgetwow, that was really beautiful :) I liked the "It is not yours to keep, then reject" Part a lot and your endings always end just right lol your poems are very beautiful.
4/14/2009 c1 3Elyon Bliss
Great job with this it is really good and you shouldkeep writing. this has alot of things in it to think about, but has very strong emotion in it. Kudos!
:D -Sim-
3Elyon BlissGreat job with this it is really good and you shouldkeep writing. this has alot of things in it to think about, but has very strong emotion in it. Kudos!
:D -Sim-
4/13/2009 c1 the-ever-changing-name
great job once again LOVED the last line! very well done! and the title is very appealing, keep it up
great job once again LOVED the last line! very well done! and the title is very appealing, keep it up
4/13/2009 c1 Bobby-Revan
I really enjoyed this poem along with your others. Your a really good writer.
The first line "Desire fluttered across my eye," was a great opening to the poem. It made me think of the Bible and how the desires of the eyes are sort of considered vanity.
And then the last little bit brought back some memories. It was interesting because I am assuming that in the last line when you say "love" you mean a person, but in my head when I first read it, I actually thought of the emotion within me. That it would fade if I didn't take care of it and keep it alive. Probably not what you were going for, but it was a great poem none the less.
By the way, thanks for the review, I greatly appreciate it!
-Bobby
I really enjoyed this poem along with your others. Your a really good writer.
The first line "Desire fluttered across my eye," was a great opening to the poem. It made me think of the Bible and how the desires of the eyes are sort of considered vanity.
And then the last little bit brought back some memories. It was interesting because I am assuming that in the last line when you say "love" you mean a person, but in my head when I first read it, I actually thought of the emotion within me. That it would fade if I didn't take care of it and keep it alive. Probably not what you were going for, but it was a great poem none the less.
By the way, thanks for the review, I greatly appreciate it!
-Bobby