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for Final Waltz

4/20/2009 c1 8LostInMe
Quite good. The first statement is direct, telling us exactly what the poem is going to say; I like that. It draws the reader in.

I've read several poems in which the lines are too short, creating an undesirable choppiness that doesn't fit with the subject matter. In this poem, however, the minimized length of the lines is perfect. It's just right for the poem's content, especially the last four lines, which bring the poem to an end in a very final, effective manner. Keep writing!
4/16/2009 c1 lymli
that's dark, great.

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