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7/5/2009 c1 13RawrEllieMayMightBeADinosaur
This was suprisingly good. I expected it to be sappy, woeisme. You changed it up, with the beginnings of the sentences. Nice job.

This was extremely relatable, that's a nice touch. Powerful, emotional. Raw. Very nice work.
6/14/2009 c1 24I'mBurningtheRiver
I love this. Really great writing. :]
4/20/2009 c1 30october lies
Dude, this fuckin owns. I love this. I love the emotions in this, especially "Am I sinning?" That line was incredibly strong and the way it stands out brings a whole new, clearer, heavier meaning to this.

Great line at the end - you did a good job of tying it up in that line and while I wish there was more to this, I'm happy to say that right here is a good ending.

Great poem.
4/19/2009 c1 49Fading Memories
OMG! This was so real and raw and sad and... well, I can't really find the perfect words. But the emotions were flowing so well, and it is sad that, to some people, we are not as human, we do not deserve the same things and the same rights. You may have inspired me to write something on that subject, too!

Ps.: I miss you, girl! Reply to my e-mail when you can, please? Hope you're well...
4/19/2009 c1 306Ashelin
Interesting acrostic. At first when I saw the title, I thought it would be something amazingly emo which I would have to gag down, but it wasn't half so bad. In some ways it seemed cliche, and on other terms so strange to me, that a person could torture another one so much for something so simple. Like beating children when they draw outside of the lines. Just...odd I suppose.

I'm not sure if I liked the (accidental?) rhyme at the end or not, though it did do well to wrap it all together. Nice metaphor at the beginning, but that is really the extent of your imagery. You could boost it up a bit more, but than as I always say, I'm an imagery whore. Seriously.

Nonetheless, good job. I hope and pray that people will at the very lest be less cruel to you as a person, putting that first and not a small spark of what encompasses who you are. Unless this is not autobiographical. Than I just have to pray for the world.

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