for Sleep of a Ruined Age4/20/2009 c1 
9Narq
This is very nice. Very descriptive and deep. There's one thing I'd like to point out - the hyphens are used by having a space in front of the line and after it, that ways Word automatically turns it into a longer 'dash'.
Narq.
9NarqThis is very nice. Very descriptive and deep. There's one thing I'd like to point out - the hyphens are used by having a space in front of the line and after it, that ways Word automatically turns it into a longer 'dash'.
Narq.
4/20/2009 c1 9Alteng
Okaym I got a chance to read this, and i do kind of remember the beginning of this and the bit about the mill.
One major problem I had with this story was the last paragraph, because it repeats much of what was told earlier in a couple of paragraphs before, but that is a structural thing.
Outside of that, it is a good beginning. You do seem to forget that the other side of Alteng's breeding is the house Kobold, but to have a house cleaner is not much fun. Oh, and I would point out that Johann is the model of the perfect mine KObold. They are suppose to be a bunch of tricksters, but even what you have works.
And yes, you have been playing with the Lovecraft stuff a bit too much.
9AltengOkaym I got a chance to read this, and i do kind of remember the beginning of this and the bit about the mill.
One major problem I had with this story was the last paragraph, because it repeats much of what was told earlier in a couple of paragraphs before, but that is a structural thing.
Outside of that, it is a good beginning. You do seem to forget that the other side of Alteng's breeding is the house Kobold, but to have a house cleaner is not much fun. Oh, and I would point out that Johann is the model of the perfect mine KObold. They are suppose to be a bunch of tricksters, but even what you have works.
And yes, you have been playing with the Lovecraft stuff a bit too much.