for Dreamland12/30/2012 c1 RedPenScrip
I am RedPenScrip, and it has been an exhilarating experience to read this. Your summary was top-notch, with your title, to catch my attention, as I had ignored maybe 20 other stories before deciding upon this short work. The drastic change from student to working woman confused me at first, but did not deteriorate the flow of the story. Instead, it helped me understand where the main character was coming from. This in turn made me feel more attached to her. As a result, at the end I felt sad to see what had happened, though I knew it was to come as implied in your summary. The technique of using flashbacks to her winning an award were a very interesting addition. I am only going to say that "Bagel Plus" annoyed me a little, so I leave advice to carefully profread (I think the word was) your work before publishing. In case you might not know what I meant by Bagel Plus, it seems Plus should be plus.
I am RedPenScrip, and it has been an exhilarating experience to read this. Your summary was top-notch, with your title, to catch my attention, as I had ignored maybe 20 other stories before deciding upon this short work. The drastic change from student to working woman confused me at first, but did not deteriorate the flow of the story. Instead, it helped me understand where the main character was coming from. This in turn made me feel more attached to her. As a result, at the end I felt sad to see what had happened, though I knew it was to come as implied in your summary. The technique of using flashbacks to her winning an award were a very interesting addition. I am only going to say that "Bagel Plus" annoyed me a little, so I leave advice to carefully profread (I think the word was) your work before publishing. In case you might not know what I meant by Bagel Plus, it seems Plus should be plus.
5/29/2010 c1 bangming
hi !
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hi !
Cheap retail watch, sunglasses, belt, hats/caps, High quality T-shirts,ED hardy t-shirts,ED Hardy hoodies,ED hardy ,Jeans,GUCCI shoes,LV Handbag,Chanel Handbag…high quality,low price.welcome to:
1/23/2010 c1 
8Written
wow. very sad, but very well written. i love the juxtaposition of what is happening in her head and what is happening in real life.
8Writtenwow. very sad, but very well written. i love the juxtaposition of what is happening in her head and what is happening in real life.
1/7/2010 c1 12elisefey
This story is so sad, but I love the way you switch back and forth between her dream and what's happening to her.
12elisefeyThis story is so sad, but I love the way you switch back and forth between her dream and what's happening to her.
4/23/2009 c1 Ioh
I love work done in two mindsets, so this story really appealed to me. I can (sadly) kind of relate to Shelby. After all, what's wrong with being famous? But you were able to show the negativity and the depth of what first seemed to be innocent daydreaming. Good job!
(If you have anything to say, you can reach me at )
I love work done in two mindsets, so this story really appealed to me. I can (sadly) kind of relate to Shelby. After all, what's wrong with being famous? But you were able to show the negativity and the depth of what first seemed to be innocent daydreaming. Good job!
(If you have anything to say, you can reach me at )