for Lost in the Hamptons1/5/2010 c1 
4Ben Garrett
Well it was a good story. Not as well written as some of the others I have seen but you have your own style. However in chapter 13 you changed the tense the whole story was in and it was really confusing. The story line was really great and I really liked the concept of throwing the notes back and forth. I hope my comments helped a little bit.
4Ben GarrettWell it was a good story. Not as well written as some of the others I have seen but you have your own style. However in chapter 13 you changed the tense the whole story was in and it was really confusing. The story line was really great and I really liked the concept of throwing the notes back and forth. I hope my comments helped a little bit.
6/12/2009 c8 4Princesswild1
I really like this story so far, I wonder what Blake's surprise could be? Can't wait for the the update!
4Princesswild1I really like this story so far, I wonder what Blake's surprise could be? Can't wait for the the update!
6/5/2009 c7 WritingWithChocolate
Aw! Her friends are so un-supporting! So, this story is still going strong! Blake is such a cutie pie! But, I think you might have put in stuff that you didn't need in the chapter, like Niki's braces coming off. Other than that, keep writing! You're a good writer, and I can't WAIT until the next chapter! Wow, I use a lot of exclamation points. Hehehe...XD
Aw! Her friends are so un-supporting! So, this story is still going strong! Blake is such a cutie pie! But, I think you might have put in stuff that you didn't need in the chapter, like Niki's braces coming off. Other than that, keep writing! You're a good writer, and I can't WAIT until the next chapter! Wow, I use a lot of exclamation points. Hehehe...XD
6/5/2009 c7 1RoxyCupcake
Hey,
Loved the chapter =) I love how Ryan and Blake have the conversation! It's a but confusing with ther friends - do they actually like her?
In answer to your question, in England when you are in Year 11 (15/16 - a sophmore i think) you take exams (GCSE's - it stands for the General Certificate of Secondary Education) in loads of different subjects, you have to take Maths, English Language and English Literature, Science, and ICT but then you have to choose a few other subjects and i chose French, German, History and Technology and I had to do Statistics as well which has to be the most boring subject ever :p Hope that makes sense!
It seems like you get a lot more holidays than we do!
Laura xoxo
1RoxyCupcakeHey,
Loved the chapter =) I love how Ryan and Blake have the conversation! It's a but confusing with ther friends - do they actually like her?
In answer to your question, in England when you are in Year 11 (15/16 - a sophmore i think) you take exams (GCSE's - it stands for the General Certificate of Secondary Education) in loads of different subjects, you have to take Maths, English Language and English Literature, Science, and ICT but then you have to choose a few other subjects and i chose French, German, History and Technology and I had to do Statistics as well which has to be the most boring subject ever :p Hope that makes sense!
It seems like you get a lot more holidays than we do!
Laura xoxo
6/1/2009 c6 WritingWithChocolate
Aw! Blake is such a sweetie! And Ellie is just so adorable! Maybe you can describe what happened on their walk or during the bonfire instead of just saying that it was a blur. Just a suggestion. Other than that, WONDERFUL chapter! Update soon! :)
Aw! Blake is such a sweetie! And Ellie is just so adorable! Maybe you can describe what happened on their walk or during the bonfire instead of just saying that it was a blur. Just a suggestion. Other than that, WONDERFUL chapter! Update soon! :)
6/1/2009 c6 RoxyCupcake
Great chapter :) You only have two weeks to go? Feel sorry for the people at my school who don't have summer til the 24th of July! ( I live in the UK btw!) lol xoxo
Great chapter :) You only have two weeks to go? Feel sorry for the people at my school who don't have summer til the 24th of July! ( I live in the UK btw!) lol xoxo
5/22/2009 c5 WritingWithChocolate
*SQUEAL!* Blake sounds HAWT...*fans herself*. Anyhoo, very nice chappie! I knew you wouldn't have trouble describing him, you're so good at describing. And wow, when I said update soon, you really updates SOON! YAY! One suggestion: I'm not sure if this was done by accident, but, when you talked about her hair, you made another paragraph and continued talking about her hair. Maybe you can combine them, otherwise it looks a bit out of place. Other than that, SO GOOD!
*SQUEAL!* Blake sounds HAWT...*fans herself*. Anyhoo, very nice chappie! I knew you wouldn't have trouble describing him, you're so good at describing. And wow, when I said update soon, you really updates SOON! YAY! One suggestion: I'm not sure if this was done by accident, but, when you talked about her hair, you made another paragraph and continued talking about her hair. Maybe you can combine them, otherwise it looks a bit out of place. Other than that, SO GOOD!
5/22/2009 c4 WritingWithChocolate
Hmm...did you say what he looks like? Or did I miss it...hmm...anyhoo...I still think it might be going a little too fast, but maybe that's just me. And what was Toby doing without Blake at the end? Other than that, GREAT chapter, can't wait for the next one...
Hmm...did you say what he looks like? Or did I miss it...hmm...anyhoo...I still think it might be going a little too fast, but maybe that's just me. And what was Toby doing without Blake at the end? Other than that, GREAT chapter, can't wait for the next one...
5/22/2009 c3 WritingWithChocolate
Wow. She moves fast. She's seeing the guy for the first time after a long time and she's already thinking about love? Hmm...anyhoo, other than that, good chapter. I liked the whole throwing letters throught the windows. That was cute!
Wow. She moves fast. She's seeing the guy for the first time after a long time and she's already thinking about love? Hmm...anyhoo, other than that, good chapter. I liked the whole throwing letters throught the windows. That was cute!
5/22/2009 c2 WritingWithChocolate
Ha. That's exactly how I feel when I'm on a plane...completely bored, unless there's one of those TV's ont the back of the seat in front of you...then I can get by. And Niki's so ditzy! XD Anyhoo...I'll try to review the other two chapters today...hehe..
Ha. That's exactly how I feel when I'm on a plane...completely bored, unless there's one of those TV's ont the back of the seat in front of you...then I can get by. And Niki's so ditzy! XD Anyhoo...I'll try to review the other two chapters today...hehe..
5/21/2009 c1 WritingWithChocolate
HEY!
I really like your story, but I have a few tips. For one thing, maybe lighten up on the AIM conversations, maybe make them phone conversations, as the AIM ones seem a bit tacky. Also, maybe focus more on how the girls are as people as well as on how they look. It'll be easier to understand them that way. Focus more on their thoughts, than on their outward appearance. It'll give more insight into their character.
Anyhoo, apart from that, you're pretty good. I really liked the quote:
"She then walked across her room, the shaggy light blue carpet squishing under her feet with every step she took. The carpet was one of the many colorful things in Ryan’s room, secretly she liked to think that she lived in a rainbow, her room was so colorful, it actually seemed like it was a real rainbow."
It was really descriptive and I could actually see the room.
Anyways...update soon!
HEY!
I really like your story, but I have a few tips. For one thing, maybe lighten up on the AIM conversations, maybe make them phone conversations, as the AIM ones seem a bit tacky. Also, maybe focus more on how the girls are as people as well as on how they look. It'll be easier to understand them that way. Focus more on their thoughts, than on their outward appearance. It'll give more insight into their character.
Anyhoo, apart from that, you're pretty good. I really liked the quote:
"She then walked across her room, the shaggy light blue carpet squishing under her feet with every step she took. The carpet was one of the many colorful things in Ryan’s room, secretly she liked to think that she lived in a rainbow, her room was so colorful, it actually seemed like it was a real rainbow."
It was really descriptive and I could actually see the room.
Anyways...update soon!