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6/19/2009 c2 1RaneInfernum
Great story! You have to update soon. But, is this story set in the present, or the past. The gun and the use of the words "fucked" and "screw" confused me a little bit.
4/27/2009 c2 7I. Degolier
I like the creative use of Native American mythology here, and it seems you have done a lot of research about the tribe, which helps to flesh out your story. I really like that you mention cultural factors such as the mud huts and wild rice rather than relying on pop culture images of Native American life. The bold underlined font makes it a bit hard to read, however, and the inclusion of so much Chippewa vocabulary in a short space is a little hard to absorb. It might be helpful to pare down the number of Native American terms, or save some to be introduced in later chapters.
4/27/2009 c2 2Ray-Anne
Firstly, the bold underline is sort of distracting =P

And gosh that was a crude thing. What the hell *is* she? Lol scary.

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