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8/4/2011 c3 1Synaptic Imagination
I'm hooked to say the least, you write fight scenes very well, though a bit more detail sprinkled here and there might help for people who visualize when they read (like me :P). Your characters are interesting as is the world they inhabit, so I look forward to you developing both of those more as I continue to read. I like the character of Sierra alot, and I definitely want to see more of her wind magic, I think you'll do a good job of being inventive with magic in this story. I definitely want to see more of the world you've made for this story and what kind of other cities there are.

As far as the actual writing goes you have a consistently good quality of writing, no glaring spelling or grammatical errors anywhere and your style is the same throughout. So keep up the good work.
8/1/2011 c34 99Dreamers-Requiem
Personally, I thought that was a really good ending. It wrapped things up nicely, while leaving it slightly open, which I think works really well. It'd be great to see a re-write of this on FP, and/or some one-shots from you. I've really enjoyed reading this :) You've created a great, interesting world and there were some really good twists throughout. Great job, Aspiemor.
7/26/2011 c33 Dreamers-Requiem
Great chapter, I think you did really well at sort of wrapping things up. I loved, loved, LOVED the interaction between Rosa and Jin. It was lovely, had me proper squealing and going "Just kiss already!" As always, I really like all the characters in this, even the villians - they're fun to read about, and the ending just had me in shock. Awesome stuff there. I'd love to see a re-write of this, I'd like to see what sort of things you change and what you keep the same etc. Keep it up; I'll review the epilogue soon as I can.
5/24/2011 c32 Dreamers-Requiem
Interesting chapter; I liked the action, and I think for the most part it was pretty clear what was going on, so good job with that. I like how the different relationships were shown, too. Yay for Puck saving Mid; he was so sweet with the "favourite tube rat" comment. Again, just a couple of awkward sentences but I'm sure you'll pick up on them in the rewrite. I'm going to be very sad when I finish this. Great job.
5/16/2011 c1 5drazer434
~From the Roadhouse

I've always been in two minds about these kinds of prologues. It is essentially one big infodump, which is not so good, but gives us a valuable insight into the world you've created, which is good, and since I'm in general really interested in the world that has been created so this prologue intrigues me. One thing I am wary of though, is that there is no character interaction at all, and for readers where characterization is the most important thing this could be a problem.

I also really like the premise that has been set out, it sounds really interesting, and I like how you have an explanation for the creation of the world and the universe. One thing I've noticed is that although the prologue gives us the main information, there is loads left out, so we still have to stuff to find out as we read, which I really like. Finding out about the world through the story is one of my favourite parts.

[The only known details of the war were of bloody fighting and violence.] - I find it a little odd that the prologue is being told from the point of view of an omniscient narrator, who seems to know everything about the world, yet doesn't know the details about the war. It seems like a bit of a discrepancy to me.

Overall though I enjoyed reading this chapter, it was a decent hook and makes me want to read the rest of the story :)
4/27/2011 c31 99Dreamers-Requiem
As always, I really enjoyed that chapter. The song was fine, so don't worry about that. The action and pace worked really well and I liked the conversation vetween Rosa and Karn, it was good to see more of their relationship and I think you conveyed it really well. Some sentences do sound a bit awkward, you may want to rethink the wording of some of them; things like [Too many experiences with hangover she had.] which you could change to "She'd had too many experiences with hangovers", etc. Other than that, great stuff! I can't believe how close I am to finishing reading this. Keep it up!
4/3/2011 c24 9Sakina the Fallen Angel
Haha, brilliant strategy, Karn! Strike and run :D The parallel storylines work really well here - we get to see Jin struggle with the mysterious bug, and the others against the ogres! Aww, Medina is so hopelessly in love, she is so brilliant! You really do have a knack for character portrayal :)

Ek, cliffie!

~ Sakina x
4/3/2011 c23 Sakina the Fallen Angel
This was a really good chapter ~ it was great to see Sierra's character demonstrating that she actually does have a heart! A lot of the scenes were really cinematically written, like Mica's tears. There was also a lot of comedy here that I enjoyed e.g. the kobold and the dragon using their noses to sniff out a trail :)

Urk, trust Jin to zone out when everyone needs him xD

~ Sakina x
3/20/2011 c30 99Dreamers-Requiem
Don't worry about your vocabulary; personally, I think it's fine. Some authors get bogged down in trying to use variations of words and long-words, and it stops the plot. For Journeyman, I think your vocabulary is fine; it works well and keeps the plot moving forward. In terms of Medina being high, if you want to research that sort of thing, maybe look it up online. Other than that, I think the way you've wrriten it was fine. There were just a few sentences that read a bit awkwardly, but nothing that can't be fixed quickly when you come to edit it. Good stuff; I'll read & review next chapter soon as I can.
1/24/2011 c29 Dreamers-Requiem
Final Fantasy is awesome :P

Anyway, you can really feel it building up to a climax - the last few chapters have felt very tense, so great job on conveying that! I like the different situations you've got the characters in, and I think Sierra's reaction to Medina getting eaten was written really well. As usual, some great stuff here, I'm really enjoying it.
1/4/2011 c28 Dreamers-Requiem
You can really feel it building up to a climax - the pace is picking up really well and I like how of the previous events are becoming interlinked. As usual, the events are exciting and you show the character's emotions really well - although the whole Sierra and Kinto thing isn't subtle, it works well like that, it's kind of the feeling that everyone realises except them and you're just waiting for them to realize how they feel about each other.
12/29/2010 c28 7zombie chickens
Hooray for Kinto and Sierra shipping xD I loves them, they're so perfect for eachother...I also like that neither of them can quite admit to liking the other yet. It's cute.

Oh and I felt like Rosa got a bit more kickass in this chapter. When she stayed to fight with Karn I was all 'yeah! Kick his ass!'

All the character's relationships are so strong by now that it's just so entertaining to read...Love how Rosa still calls Midlo a weasel and little things like that... and oh dear, am I sensing an epic battle between Jin and the jester in the next chapter? Hm lovely.
12/21/2010 c27 zombie chickens
Good chapter! I loved all the scene changes with the different characters, it really helped to build up the suspense of something big brewing and left no disappointments! Connections are being made and the plot is becoming even more intriguing. As always, Drace is entertaining and it's always good to see more of the villains.

Here's hoping they don't all get eaten by insechnids! Can't wait to find out.
12/16/2010 c13 Canaletto
This might be my favorite chapter in the story. Not really much action, but the plot is finally here. This chapter also explains a lot of the questions raised as to why the group was invited to the academy, and why they had to break in; manipulation both magical and political on the part of Drace. My only complaint is with Drace’s apparent age; for the all-knowing school master, he seems very young for both his position and influence. His age has not been confirmed, but if a reference to him being older than he looks was thrown in, the problems would be solved. That aside, I highly enjoyed all of the new characters, and as I have said already, this has been one of my favorite chapters so far.

Canaletto
12/14/2010 c26 zombie chickens
Aftermath chapters are important. It can't always be fighting, chasing, killing chapters (even though those are awesome) It's nice to have ones where everyone gets to take a deep breath..And delve into some good old fashioned character drama! I thought you did a good job providing some insight into each of the characters in this chapter. It seemed appropriate to delve into Sierra's past a bit more given that this is a kobold village and I love the relationship that's forming with her and Kinto.

I enjoyed this chapter a lot and I can't wait to see where it goes from here. I have a feeling things are going to get really intense pretty soon.
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