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for Trinity of Opposing Definitons

5/2/2009 c1 12Sir Scott
Wow, great poem. You're right nothing is more important than new life.

5/2/2009 c1 16Plej
The Good: This perfectly puts a face on the fear of being pregnant; kind of scary, beautiful, and monumental-If I may. The similes and the way your sentences form are excellent here, very unique.

The Bad: The barren one threw me off. Barren is to be sterile, so I suppose you were talking about different or rather separate poems almost, maybe next time do chapters?

The Random: This piece was kind of scary to me, since I have fears of being pregnant, I mean when it happens it's gonna be crazy, just gotta wait for that right guy to come along I guess to where I wanna actually carry a little someone, lol.

Good Luck Writing! ~Tricia.
5/1/2009 c1 Isca
Bearing: "Held in your hands like a plastic grocery bag." Honestly, this line is absolutely mind-blowing, it's one of the best similes I've ever read-so evocative. I also liked that you compared anticipation to flooding, and I especially loved the ending, "The burden of waiting."

Barren: "The vessel unfilled; unfulfilled in its duty to be." Wow...this really hit home for me. Also, the line, "Like swimming in the ocean as the tide turns red," was full of powerful, chilling imagery.

Bare: "Small, infant sunbeams." Aww! That's so beautiful! :D "We are the compliments of all things." Mind-blowing! Philosophical! "Outside the window, the world is pregnant." Where do these lines come from? THEY'RE PHENOMENAL! "But for now, this nakedness is enough." Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

You're amazing,

5/1/2009 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
What a beautifully fascinating piece! I don't get the sense that you are pregnant throughout the first half, but rather you've spent a lifetime watching others be born, watching new things in the world come to life.

Counting the day until you'll be mother; as most girls do, in their lives.

Then, at the end we see glimmers of birth - verses about hips roating, allowing life to ignite, and so on.

It's a very tender peice. There's hardly any malice to it - well, maybe that last line about wraping your expectations humanized it a little. What parent doesn't have high and sometimes unrealisonable expectations for their children?

It was complex piece, my dear, I can say many things about it. The style is right on target, the narration is lush...

Just a highly achieving piece. Well done, post more soon. Keep up the good work.

Much love,


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