for Honeybun5/10/2009 c1 
4bringmayflowers
I admit it. The reason I clicked on this story was because of my love for the musical South Pacific. The book is pretty good too by the way.
Anyway... onto reviewing this story.
I thought it was adorable that the girl's name was Honey. Super cute! I also thought it was really interesting that you told the story from a male perspective, which is something not a lot of writers in the Romance section do. I was very impressed.
Okay, I know it's hard to do this in a one-shot because, yes, I have had this issue too but you should try to work on description. The way you do so in this story is not as flowing as it could be. Thats something you can work on if you ever want to revise this piece.
Very cute overall and while it didn't make me ''ridiculously happy,'' it did make me smile. :-)
Good job.
4bringmayflowersI admit it. The reason I clicked on this story was because of my love for the musical South Pacific. The book is pretty good too by the way.
Anyway... onto reviewing this story.
I thought it was adorable that the girl's name was Honey. Super cute! I also thought it was really interesting that you told the story from a male perspective, which is something not a lot of writers in the Romance section do. I was very impressed.
Okay, I know it's hard to do this in a one-shot because, yes, I have had this issue too but you should try to work on description. The way you do so in this story is not as flowing as it could be. Thats something you can work on if you ever want to revise this piece.
Very cute overall and while it didn't make me ''ridiculously happy,'' it did make me smile. :-)
Good job.