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1/10/2010 c1 3Neoteric-figment
I thought this worked really well as the companion/ flip side to Pretty in Pink. I actually found it easier and more enjoyable to read from Paula's point of view because she clearly has much more of a personality. (Didn't find her arrogant or intolerant, but more of a straight shooter, ready to move forward in her life and no longer allowing anyone to tell her what to do with it.)

It was good that you mentioned, I think twice, that this was more of an ongoing problem with Tom, otherwise it would have been too easy to think she's so fickle Paula would end her relationship because her boyfriend made a few insensitive comments over her new look. I got the sense it was 'the final straw' that set her on this path.

I'm not big on the muso discussions, personally, but I wasn't bored with them, (despite just having re read PIP and the repeated dialogue.) Was the right amount without going over. I also like her description of Sam, the comments that she wants to hear her sing as well as the explanation for her clashing, 'extreme' makeup/ hair dye/ dress attire. I saw it first as a fuck you, to Tom and second, almost as if the bright colours were a way of showing her coming (exploding?) out of her shell.

Second chapters from either story would be appreciated...though at the risk of more you'll be threatening to hook me in, I suspect. I'm surprised not a lot of people commented this one after the response you got from PIP.
5/13/2009 c1 Bug
I like the story, but the one from Sam's point of view has so much more impact. I think my problem with this is that I don't like Paula. She's arrogant and intolerant. (I don't like her name much either... I think because it reminds me of Paula Abdul.) My other issue with the story is that I sort of have a hard time believing a woman would wear a light blue shirt with coral colored lip gloss, especially with pink hair. And women care way too much about their shoes to say "some old sandals". I felt at times she was conflicting with being girly and being tom-boyish. I really like the kissing in the hallway, you wrote that so well that I barely felt like I was reading. It was more like watching a movie in my head. Very well written.

I felt like it was kind of weird how Sam was almost timid when Paula hit on her in the middle of the room, but then got angry when Paula danced with Nate, but maybe that was the alcohol changing her behavior. I also felt like having Paula do 7 shots of straight vanilla vodka was kind of a lot. It almost cheapens this otherwise sexy encounter of women. I feel like it's unbelievable for a 110 lb woman to do 7 shots and not puke.

I think she'd be sexier in a black top, less tacky sounding. Sorry, I'm all over the place in this review... I'm kind of going over the story in my head as I type.

I can't even say enough good about the kissing scene.

I think that her clothes threw me from the start.

Overall, I like the story, it kept me interested, but I found some of hard to believe and therefore made the story less satisfying?

Please forgive my idiotic review... I'm new at this. :)

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