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9/4/2010 c1 silver rocker1490
so cute..super like! you should have added more chapters or something like that!
6/27/2009 c1 2Arabella Knightfair
Aw wow! That was so cute! I really liked it, I liked how you had the lyrics incorporated into it! That was really cool and pretty smart.

The only criticism I have is that her saying "I love you" does feel a little be too fast since just before that she was extremely upset over her boyfriend cheating on her.

Other than that it was a really nice one shot!


5/30/2009 c1 151ForeverBehindTheImpression
Omg, I read this some time ago! But didnt review, and I dont know why I didnt review, cause I really liked it. Wow, I was just loking on your page cause of all the favouriting and stuff you'd done on my story These Lives I Walk (yes, I am HighOnBrokenWings) and I always check out those kinds of peoples stuff. Crazy how that works huh? I really liked this, a lot, very cute in the end :P
5/16/2009 c1 12Miss Mysteries
Great one-shot. Captivating and i thought it was kinda sweet/cute.
5/16/2009 c1 melanie

i like it =)

its a great story. I'd like to read the prologue too but im new to the site and dont know where to look lol.

keep on writing, i like your style.
5/14/2009 c2 3cndysweetmss
this story is so good
5/14/2009 c1 cndysweetmss
... its good
5/13/2009 c1 2ThisArtWar
I liked it, cute =)
5/13/2009 c1 5annoyance
Wow. She sure got over Jake fast, if she's already declaring her love for Mitch.

A bit too unrealiostic for me. Sorry.
5/13/2009 c1 5xxchristiexx
I think you should continue. Of course it stands still as a one shot but I'd like to see it become more than a one shot. I'd love to read more. I agree. I think there's more to happen between Ash and Mitch. Much more. But it's up to you.
5/13/2009 c1 9wolfen princess
I like the story but I thought it moved a little fast, especially when Mitchelle kissed her. I think it's a little unrealistic that Ashlee would kiss back, especially since a few lines before that you give the impression that she really doesn't like him. Maybe you could either make it seem as though he's getting her on the rebound and she's not thinking very clearly, or dull the scene down a little bit. Make Ashlee realize who she's kissing and stop or admit to herself feelings she's had for Mitchelle when he enters the room.

I also think the "I love you" part was too fast as well, even if this were to remain a one shot. Like I said earlier, it seems like he annoys the crap put of her and then they are confessing their love to each other.

I do like your use of description, and I really want to find out what happends to Mitchelle and Ashlee. Please, please, contiue this!

~Wolfen Princess
5/13/2009 c1 2gOINg-AWOL
you should continue it, i like it (happy face)
5/13/2009 c1 2deathanddawn
umm. hi:)

this is the author... i want to thank the ananymous person ho pointed out mi mistake coz i actually changed the characters names from Jenny and Luke to Ashlee and Mitchell, coz u can do more with those names and stuff. so i guess i didnt review it enough...

5/13/2009 c1 Anonymous
"Jenny and Luke pulled apart slowly, each panting slightly as they turned as one to look at the phone."

Don't you mean Ashley and Mitchell?

The story was alright, but you should make sure you don't accidentally change the character's names :P
5/13/2009 c1 2Chloeee
Its so cute the start, I can't wait for next chapter. This chapter does seem like a prologue of some sorts, that's just what I think

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