for Curtains3/3/2011 c1 
2bookaddict27
Beautiful story, it was interesting to see the conflicting views. I enjoyed reading this.
2bookaddict27Beautiful story, it was interesting to see the conflicting views. I enjoyed reading this.
9/22/2009 c1 Fractured Illusion
"that theres pretty much nothing you cant forgive." -there's; can't
"spine doesnt crawl" - doesn't
"and hed sit" - he'd
"and he wasnt angry" - wasn't
"that you dont have anymore and its easier" - don't; it's
"Heres something " - Here's
You were very sloppy in this one, which detracted from my enjoyment. However, I do like this piece too. You have a very raw feeling here and it feels very real and authentic, like that other piece. All in all, another poignant piece :) But do edit the slipups!
Frac
"that theres pretty much nothing you cant forgive." -there's; can't
"spine doesnt crawl" - doesn't
"and hed sit" - he'd
"and he wasnt angry" - wasn't
"that you dont have anymore and its easier" - don't; it's
"Heres something " - Here's
You were very sloppy in this one, which detracted from my enjoyment. However, I do like this piece too. You have a very raw feeling here and it feels very real and authentic, like that other piece. All in all, another poignant piece :) But do edit the slipups!
Frac
5/18/2009 c1 4MegamiMao
I loved it. Very sad and touching, but at the same time it made me stop and think. I like the seemingly random little pieces of information that you added in too; the fact that the speaker loved the dirty jokes, for example. They added to the effect of someone trying to take their mind off what's happening by thinking of odd things. The ending was also nice, a little scientific information about blood and water, I thought that added to the overall effect. I give this story a huge star, hah.
4MegamiMaoI loved it. Very sad and touching, but at the same time it made me stop and think. I like the seemingly random little pieces of information that you added in too; the fact that the speaker loved the dirty jokes, for example. They added to the effect of someone trying to take their mind off what's happening by thinking of odd things. The ending was also nice, a little scientific information about blood and water, I thought that added to the overall effect. I give this story a huge star, hah.