Just In
for Aftermath

8/15/2009 c3 2Sarthim
Pretty intense piece here. I think this could really take on a life of its own and deserves to have more chapters written. You do a very good job with first person-no complaints in the narrative here.

If you do plan to continue this, you might consider revealing what has happened a bit more and the conflicts that will undoubtedly arise out of the nuclear fallout. Also, the end of chapter one seemed a little melodramatic but it seemed justified at the main time considering what happened to the main character. Maybe find a line to straddle between relaying pain/drama in the narration and moving on with events.

Otherwise, this is good so far and I'd love to see more.
5/20/2009 c3 2Ray-Anne
This was so gripping. And beautifully - though sad and hateful - wonderful description. Really alive.
5/20/2009 c3 Music Of The Ocean
Wow, that's intense. The first few lines of the chapeter just hooked me! :)

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