for shooting stars8/12/2009 c1 
44Redlove124
OMG, I LOVED THIS! I really like this, because, at least to me, it gives a sadder, maybe a little angry, twist to the concept of shooting stars. And i also liked the format of this piece, i don't think that i've seen it before, but it looks really good here. "wishes aren’t all the same, aren’t all what you think they might be"I also liked this line, because it shows the concept of "Be careful what you wish for" and I always enjoy those because they make you think.
Good job!
44Redlove124OMG, I LOVED THIS! I really like this, because, at least to me, it gives a sadder, maybe a little angry, twist to the concept of shooting stars. And i also liked the format of this piece, i don't think that i've seen it before, but it looks really good here. "wishes aren’t all the same, aren’t all what you think they might be"I also liked this line, because it shows the concept of "Be careful what you wish for" and I always enjoy those because they make you think.
Good job!
8/1/2009 c1 9Love And Some Verses
Beautiful. I love your poetry, and the thought and emotion that goes into them. Interesting format. I like. A lot.
9Love And Some VersesBeautiful. I love your poetry, and the thought and emotion that goes into them. Interesting format. I like. A lot.
7/27/2009 c2 173Little girl Big world
Very nice just as the other about falling stars was. They both hold the same concept but are different. I like the spacing out of the letters in fall it really adds to the piece and so does "just like they do." being on a separate line. Great ending. Nicely written!
173Little girl Big worldVery nice just as the other about falling stars was. They both hold the same concept but are different. I like the spacing out of the letters in fall it really adds to the piece and so does "just like they do." being on a separate line. Great ending. Nicely written!
7/21/2009 c1 1tonight we bloom
"careful, dreamer, someone's about to break you. maybe the stars don't like to fall."
beautiful. wow i love your poetry!
1tonight we bloom"careful, dreamer, someone's about to break you. maybe the stars don't like to fall."
beautiful. wow i love your poetry!
7/21/2009 c2 Isca
"Just like they do." What a powerful line. It's fascinating to think that both humans and stars 'die.' Do stars have a Heaven or a Hell of their own? Whoa...
"Just like they do." What a powerful line. It's fascinating to think that both humans and stars 'die.' Do stars have a Heaven or a Hell of their own? Whoa...
7/21/2009 c1 Isca
I like that you used iambic diameter in this poem. Most wouldn't be able to pull off a poem in this form, but your lines were more powerful than choppy.
"Shoot me down." This opening is very striking. It appears as though the speaker has 'given up' before she has really even begun.
"I'll show you." I like the double meaning here. The words 'I'll show you' can be either vindictive or honourable. I like that you leave it up to the reader to decide which meaning suits them the best.
"Careful, dreamer." Wise words. I love the omnicient tone here. The speaker is obviously someone very powerful (God, perhaps?).
"Maybe the stars don't like to fall." Lovely ending. It's very thought-provoking. I mean, with this sense of personification, the stars have feelings; thus, falling would instill fear within their hearts. That's mind-blowing stuff, my dear. :D
I like that you used iambic diameter in this poem. Most wouldn't be able to pull off a poem in this form, but your lines were more powerful than choppy.
"Shoot me down." This opening is very striking. It appears as though the speaker has 'given up' before she has really even begun.
"I'll show you." I like the double meaning here. The words 'I'll show you' can be either vindictive or honourable. I like that you leave it up to the reader to decide which meaning suits them the best.
"Careful, dreamer." Wise words. I love the omnicient tone here. The speaker is obviously someone very powerful (God, perhaps?).
"Maybe the stars don't like to fall." Lovely ending. It's very thought-provoking. I mean, with this sense of personification, the stars have feelings; thus, falling would instill fear within their hearts. That's mind-blowing stuff, my dear. :D
7/18/2009 c2 5Said Author
Lovely like the last one, I like how you wrote "fall" that way. Really emphasizes the meaning. :)
5Said AuthorLovely like the last one, I like how you wrote "fall" that way. Really emphasizes the meaning. :)
7/17/2009 c1 2dragonflydreamer
Sorry, I owe you these RM reviews from a really long time ago. So...erm...congrats? ^^;
Wow, congrats on the iambic diameter! I know meter's really nasty to nail, and you did a really great job with it. I also found it interesting how you chose this one in particular. It's not a form that's used too often, but you really used it effectively in this piece.
I also love the topic of this. It seems to have a central idea of "be careful what you wish for," but you really expand it into much more. The persona was very interested from a star's point of view; it gives it a nice twist of daring the person to wish something.
[breaks your heart. close
your eyes and dare] I'm a bit torn about the rhythm of this line. I like the pause that it creates, but it throws off your meter.
[wish. I’ll show you.] Same there.
[might be. Careful,
dreamer, someone’s] Great use of punctiation here! The pauses let the reader really stop and think about the words, and the meter still goes smoothly.
2dragonflydreamerSorry, I owe you these RM reviews from a really long time ago. So...erm...congrats? ^^;
Wow, congrats on the iambic diameter! I know meter's really nasty to nail, and you did a really great job with it. I also found it interesting how you chose this one in particular. It's not a form that's used too often, but you really used it effectively in this piece.
I also love the topic of this. It seems to have a central idea of "be careful what you wish for," but you really expand it into much more. The persona was very interested from a star's point of view; it gives it a nice twist of daring the person to wish something.
[breaks your heart. close
your eyes and dare] I'm a bit torn about the rhythm of this line. I like the pause that it creates, but it throws off your meter.
[wish. I’ll show you.] Same there.
[might be. Careful,
dreamer, someone’s] Great use of punctiation here! The pauses let the reader really stop and think about the words, and the meter still goes smoothly.
7/12/2009 c1 56Luna Turner
"Shoot me down the sky and I'll give you a wish that breaks your heart." A great opening line. The essence of it, I guess you could say, is strange, but I love it all the same.
:)
There's something about this piece that I just adore. Whether it be the amazing word choice, flow of the piece, or meaning behind it, I just love it.
Amazing amazing work.
~Luna Turner
56Luna Turner"Shoot me down the sky and I'll give you a wish that breaks your heart." A great opening line. The essence of it, I guess you could say, is strange, but I love it all the same.
:)
There's something about this piece that I just adore. Whether it be the amazing word choice, flow of the piece, or meaning behind it, I just love it.
Amazing amazing work.
~Luna Turner
7/10/2009 c1 drops of rain
Wow. This is beautiful.
And I like that it's diameter and not pentameter. It's not something I see often. :)
Wow. This is beautiful.
And I like that it's diameter and not pentameter. It's not something I see often. :)
6/27/2009 c1 5CuriousContradiction
The lines "shoot me down the sky" and "Careful, dreamer, someone's out to break you" were gorgeous. The whole poem was simple but resonant.
I wish I had words that made me sound intelligent enough to review this properly, but all I'm coming up with is beautiful- the flow, each phrase, the wording, everything.
Thank you so, so much for sharing this poem.
5CuriousContradictionThe lines "shoot me down the sky" and "Careful, dreamer, someone's out to break you" were gorgeous. The whole poem was simple but resonant.
I wish I had words that made me sound intelligent enough to review this properly, but all I'm coming up with is beautiful- the flow, each phrase, the wording, everything.
Thank you so, so much for sharing this poem.
6/24/2009 c1 173Little girl Big world
A very unique concept. I really enjoyed. Love the last few lines, best ending!
+adding to favorites+
173Little girl Big worldA very unique concept. I really enjoyed. Love the last few lines, best ending!
+adding to favorites+