for My Fate Our Fates5/28/2009 c1 
21HennaJuliet
I overall like the tone of her emotions in this piece...
However...I don't think "Christmas Morning" would be on her mind... (I'm assuming your protagonist is of the Jewish faith?)
But I like how she describes the destruction of families in this time period. Very true to life.
21HennaJulietI overall like the tone of her emotions in this piece...
However...I don't think "Christmas Morning" would be on her mind... (I'm assuming your protagonist is of the Jewish faith?)
But I like how she describes the destruction of families in this time period. Very true to life.
5/28/2009 c1 9MagicWords
This was prety good.
The protagonist's thoughts are very realistic and believable. I enjoyed this piece.
Look out for run-on sentences and grammer mistakes. You have quite a few of those and some added periods and commas will help the flow run more smoothly.
Other than that, nicely done.
9MagicWordsThis was prety good.
The protagonist's thoughts are very realistic and believable. I enjoyed this piece.
Look out for run-on sentences and grammer mistakes. You have quite a few of those and some added periods and commas will help the flow run more smoothly.
Other than that, nicely done.