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5/28/2009 c1 16chromo freak
I really like this poem, interesting point, has a really nice flow to it, easy to read, really nice work in my opinion.
5/28/2009 c1 989East-0f-Eden
personally, i think you're message gets lost in the poem. I'm not sure if you're saying that there is not a God or if people shouldn't say God will punish you if you do what ever it is that you do. I read it 3x so you may want to work on the message. But, the good news is that you have a great sense of incorperating rhyme into your poem. I mainly stick with free verse. You have a wonderful sense of rhyme. lucky you

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