for One Summer6/10/2009 c1 Chancee
I don't normally read poetry so I will do my best with telling you what I thought while I read.
The imagery is very good and the picture that was painted in the beginning felt as if you were describing a lazy day in summer. The second portion made me think of the summer job one gets or the summer you spend helping your older relatives working on cars or home projects while they talk of their times.
The history that you placed here made me think of the author having conversation about the past of an old man and the attentiveness of a young listener.
The rhythm was off for me in places and I had to re-read a couple of times to get a good flow, but i don't know what to tell you to do to fix that. Sorry.
Over all a well thought of and illustrated poem, IMO, and I thank you for sharing.
Momo author of My Queen - Pay it Forward the Roadhouse
I don't normally read poetry so I will do my best with telling you what I thought while I read.
The imagery is very good and the picture that was painted in the beginning felt as if you were describing a lazy day in summer. The second portion made me think of the summer job one gets or the summer you spend helping your older relatives working on cars or home projects while they talk of their times.
The history that you placed here made me think of the author having conversation about the past of an old man and the attentiveness of a young listener.
The rhythm was off for me in places and I had to re-read a couple of times to get a good flow, but i don't know what to tell you to do to fix that. Sorry.
Over all a well thought of and illustrated poem, IMO, and I thank you for sharing.
Momo author of My Queen - Pay it Forward the Roadhouse
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