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6/25/2009 c1 13Kingdom Come
The best way to start a chapter is with character depth and questions. One to interest and one to intrigue.

And you've done precisly that. Well done!

When someone is kind enough to review one of my stories, I feel it's my duty, but most times my pleasure, to respond in kind.

This story is one of those pleasures.

You engaged my imagination with the first line and then the curiousity was upon me.

Who is this woman?

Why'd she kill this man?

What is her agenda?

What's the deal with her mother?

(Sorry to assume, but the character sounds like a woman. Most guys aren't that deep)

The feeling of regret mixed with rightfulness was expertly written. Everything that needed to be said about this character was summed up in the first two paragraphs. This suggests a good connection with the character, you have a strong imagination.

In the end you have a character who is strong, but not remorseless. Deadly, but not without wit(I hate trifle too!)And has a history and future you want to know more about.

I look forward to reading more of this. The three of you are constructing a very interesting tale

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