for The Rabbit Hole9/3/2018 c5 Guest
I like the plot so far, but I really hope Alice has more character development as the book progresses. I hope she becomes a stronger female lead and not a trembling damsel in distress.
I like the plot so far, but I really hope Alice has more character development as the book progresses. I hope she becomes a stronger female lead and not a trembling damsel in distress.
8/28/2018 c28 Guest
I loved this story so much! Thank you
I loved this story so much! Thank you
8/26/2018 c4 Guest
I loved this chapter!
I loved this chapter!
9/9/2017 c1 
1Lumix
Hello Penny,
thank you very much for writing this story. I really enjoyed reading it and I finished it within a few days.
I read so much fanfictions and stories already that I'm somewhat always looking for some hints if the author is a good one and if he/she writes reasonable and good. If not, I cancel reading the story. Looking for a new story I stumbled over yours and read the first chapter. At first I thought the woman in the first chapter is the main character and even though I grew to love Butterfly I didn't like the first chapter/Prolog that much. So I cancelled reading, read the summary again and continued with the first real chapter. It was way too long and somehow I didn't know much about Alice even though the chapter was long (long text). In summary: not a good beginning, so I cancelled reading it (again). A few hours later I thought why such a (in my opinion bad) story would have 800 favs, it couldn't be that bad. So I continued with reading and I need to say: Well done, even though I didn't like the first two chapters and somehow the summary didn't catch me, I really enjoyed reading it. Good storyline, never boring, realistic characters, good love things/scenes. Sometimes I didn't understand why characters did what they did (for example: why didn't butterfly take that device which showed the gps from Grey with her?), but nothing too serious which would have fucked up the story.
I liked how you wrote the story and I also liked the multiple point of view. It showed the peoples feeling and explained why they did things (most of the time).
In summary: good stories, lovely characters with strong and weak points, with quirks and flaws, reasonable situations.
Thank you!
Best wishes,
Lumix
1LumixHello Penny,
thank you very much for writing this story. I really enjoyed reading it and I finished it within a few days.
I read so much fanfictions and stories already that I'm somewhat always looking for some hints if the author is a good one and if he/she writes reasonable and good. If not, I cancel reading the story. Looking for a new story I stumbled over yours and read the first chapter. At first I thought the woman in the first chapter is the main character and even though I grew to love Butterfly I didn't like the first chapter/Prolog that much. So I cancelled reading, read the summary again and continued with the first real chapter. It was way too long and somehow I didn't know much about Alice even though the chapter was long (long text). In summary: not a good beginning, so I cancelled reading it (again). A few hours later I thought why such a (in my opinion bad) story would have 800 favs, it couldn't be that bad. So I continued with reading and I need to say: Well done, even though I didn't like the first two chapters and somehow the summary didn't catch me, I really enjoyed reading it. Good storyline, never boring, realistic characters, good love things/scenes. Sometimes I didn't understand why characters did what they did (for example: why didn't butterfly take that device which showed the gps from Grey with her?), but nothing too serious which would have fucked up the story.
I liked how you wrote the story and I also liked the multiple point of view. It showed the peoples feeling and explained why they did things (most of the time).
In summary: good stories, lovely characters with strong and weak points, with quirks and flaws, reasonable situations.
Thank you!
Best wishes,
Lumix
8/6/2016 c14 clarbret
So far I've really enjoyed this story, except for Alice. She's ridiculously stupid, always blundering into trouble. The first few times it happened it was believable, but now she just comes across as a person totally lacking in any common sense. It's off putting, especially when she constantly blames others for her own stupidity.
So far I've really enjoyed this story, except for Alice. She's ridiculously stupid, always blundering into trouble. The first few times it happened it was believable, but now she just comes across as a person totally lacking in any common sense. It's off putting, especially when she constantly blames others for her own stupidity.
7/3/2016 c28 annie
Hello, i just finished the story, and i gotta say, this is the first thing i read on FP, you really set the bar high.
I just looooved it sooo much, i love the characters and the world they live in
I'll make sure to read your other stories
Hello, i just finished the story, and i gotta say, this is the first thing i read on FP, you really set the bar high.
I just looooved it sooo much, i love the characters and the world they live in
I'll make sure to read your other stories
4/14/2016 c27 1my princess ending
Penelope, you have touched my soul with your story. I have always loved supernatural stories and stories that are in their own little world with different inhumanly beings. I love the mission of the team and the riddles and how Grey and Alice are both human and do not get changed into immortals at the end. As much as I wished for an epilogue of what happened between Grey and Alice after they came back, I prefer to read that Jericho and Butterfly are reunited. It is a bit unsettling but I know he will love her again as time goes. I love that he has his wings back too! What an angel. This story is so precious and I'm so thankful that you've spent so much time thinking it out and writing it. This has been a wonderful journey and I would have left you more reviews as I was reading but I'm a bit lazy and you end with cliffhangers most of the time so I just couldn't take the two seconds to write something and just had to read what will happen next. I hope you are doing well and you're still writing.
1my princess endingPenelope, you have touched my soul with your story. I have always loved supernatural stories and stories that are in their own little world with different inhumanly beings. I love the mission of the team and the riddles and how Grey and Alice are both human and do not get changed into immortals at the end. As much as I wished for an epilogue of what happened between Grey and Alice after they came back, I prefer to read that Jericho and Butterfly are reunited. It is a bit unsettling but I know he will love her again as time goes. I love that he has his wings back too! What an angel. This story is so precious and I'm so thankful that you've spent so much time thinking it out and writing it. This has been a wonderful journey and I would have left you more reviews as I was reading but I'm a bit lazy and you end with cliffhangers most of the time so I just couldn't take the two seconds to write something and just had to read what will happen next. I hope you are doing well and you're still writing.
8/27/2015 c28 Guest
Wow great story! A little confused about the ending but everyone got their happily ever after...I guess? I really loved the plot and all the characters! Amazing work!
Wow great story! A little confused about the ending but everyone got their happily ever after...I guess? I really loved the plot and all the characters! Amazing work!
8/3/2015 c27 ZippyChipChoo
EEEEEEEEH! Such a good story! I finished it a while ago and then returned recently to read it all over again! I just finished it for the second time!
You are a BRILLIANT author! Thank you so much for writing this! It is certainly a memorable story!
EEEEEEEEH! Such a good story! I finished it a while ago and then returned recently to read it all over again! I just finished it for the second time!
You are a BRILLIANT author! Thank you so much for writing this! It is certainly a memorable story!
7/25/2015 c7 Pseudonym59
So you've been one of my favorite authors here for a while, and this has been the one story of yours I never read. I have no idea why though, because it's fantastic. I really love the worldbuilding and as always, your characters are fantastically written.
So you've been one of my favorite authors here for a while, and this has been the one story of yours I never read. I have no idea why though, because it's fantastic. I really love the worldbuilding and as always, your characters are fantastically written.
5/27/2015 c28 1promesse00
Hey! I totally enjoyed your story. It was fun, funny, and really imaginative. I loved your characters most of all though. Alice, Grey, Jericho, Butterfly, Alastor, Naomi, Gabriel, Jack, everyone! They had wonderful defined personalities, and made me laugh. There were only a few things that irked me, but other than that, this story was great.
The first being, I felt that Sophia needed to be explained in more detail. Like when Grey was in the room with Sophia, maybe you should've had him have a flashback of Sophia talking to him, and have him remember his feelings towards her, her smile, the way she acted when she talked about the ocean, how she gave him hope, etc. Then her death would've seemed more traumatic.
Last thing would be grammar and spelling. You had a few mistakes, but if you were to go over and edit your mistakes, it'd be totally fine.
Other than that, loved your story, and I'll be checking out some of your other stuff!
1promesse00Hey! I totally enjoyed your story. It was fun, funny, and really imaginative. I loved your characters most of all though. Alice, Grey, Jericho, Butterfly, Alastor, Naomi, Gabriel, Jack, everyone! They had wonderful defined personalities, and made me laugh. There were only a few things that irked me, but other than that, this story was great.
The first being, I felt that Sophia needed to be explained in more detail. Like when Grey was in the room with Sophia, maybe you should've had him have a flashback of Sophia talking to him, and have him remember his feelings towards her, her smile, the way she acted when she talked about the ocean, how she gave him hope, etc. Then her death would've seemed more traumatic.
Last thing would be grammar and spelling. You had a few mistakes, but if you were to go over and edit your mistakes, it'd be totally fine.
Other than that, loved your story, and I'll be checking out some of your other stuff!
1/23/2015 c27 It's 2019
I can't express how much I loved this story. Thank you so much for writing this - I guess you probably don't check your reviews that often anymore as this was completed nearly five years ago, but it would be great if you did read this :) and reply ;) It's amazing how you developed Alice and Grey and the other characters - all brilliantly original and wonderfully portrayed with such depth - would you consider writing a sort of sequel illustrating Jericho and Butterfly, and perhaps Alice with Grey as well? Thanks again for sharing this brilliant and unique story, looking forward to reading more of your writing! :)
I can't express how much I loved this story. Thank you so much for writing this - I guess you probably don't check your reviews that often anymore as this was completed nearly five years ago, but it would be great if you did read this :) and reply ;) It's amazing how you developed Alice and Grey and the other characters - all brilliantly original and wonderfully portrayed with such depth - would you consider writing a sort of sequel illustrating Jericho and Butterfly, and perhaps Alice with Grey as well? Thanks again for sharing this brilliant and unique story, looking forward to reading more of your writing! :)
9/5/2014 c28 bego.oh
I read this story along time ago and For the past three day I've been reading it all over again and I had forgotten how incredable and well written it is! You are an amazing writer! Please keep creating more stories like this one! Good writer and hard to find! Congratulation !
I read this story along time ago and For the past three day I've been reading it all over again and I had forgotten how incredable and well written it is! You are an amazing writer! Please keep creating more stories like this one! Good writer and hard to find! Congratulation !
5/18/2014 c28 voidxtiles
I really, absolutely loved your story! It was the best fantasy I've read here on FictionPress. You were very creative, making a whole world like that with cool creatures and stuff. XD I also loved your riddles. They left me thinking what would happen, and there was never a part in the story when I didn't think, what happens next? I loved the romance, especially between Grey and Alice. They make me laugh so much. I really loved that part where Alice was watching the videos of Grey, then he thought she was watching porn. XD I don't know why I liked that part, I just did. I like awkward moments. :3 You've also changed how I imagine mermaids look in my head. I love how Butterfly was so stupid sometimes (stupid in a good way), and I love the romance between her and Jericho as much as I love Grey and Alice's. It's just so cut how much they care for each other and how much they've gone through together and sacrificed so much. I cried so much when Jericho died, and of course, I was shocked when Butterfly visited his pawnshop, and he was just there, all "What are you doing?" Though I think I kind of knew that you would bring him back. Who would be so evil as to keep Butterfly and Jericho apart? :3 And about Jericho's rebirth, how does that work? Do angels like him die on earth then go back to heaven then get kicked out again and start a new life? Or do they die on Earth and stay on earth reborn but without memory? Also, I was thinking at the end, wasn't it weird how Jericho remembered nothing at all about Betterfly, but when she kissed him and told him she loved him, he said he loved her, too? If he didn't remember her, why would he say he loved her? Maybe he felt something deep inside that though he didn't remember her, his subconscious would always remember her and love her? Anyway, I really love your stories, one of my favorite male characters is Cole, though, tbh, I didn't really read Sleeping With The Enemy. I read the first few chapters, but when I skipped to the end (no, I don't like spoilers, I just wanted to see if you finished the story because I hate unfinished stories because I'm always left hanging, wondering what the ending would have been), I kinda "accidentally" scanned a bit (hey, I was curious. I was wondering who Joss would really end up with), and I saw that you paired up Joss and Jack, and left Cole there, heartbroken. I could have gone on with the story, but I didn't want to go through all that drama. It seems kind of weird to me when it's the boy who's left hurt. Sometimes I'm okay with it, but I was too attached to Cole to see him go through all the pain. I've read Rough Petals, though, and even when Cole got his happy ending (:D!), I still didn't want to see him go through all the pain. Other than that, I absolutely love your stories. Hope you keep writing! :)
I really, absolutely loved your story! It was the best fantasy I've read here on FictionPress. You were very creative, making a whole world like that with cool creatures and stuff. XD I also loved your riddles. They left me thinking what would happen, and there was never a part in the story when I didn't think, what happens next? I loved the romance, especially between Grey and Alice. They make me laugh so much. I really loved that part where Alice was watching the videos of Grey, then he thought she was watching porn. XD I don't know why I liked that part, I just did. I like awkward moments. :3 You've also changed how I imagine mermaids look in my head. I love how Butterfly was so stupid sometimes (stupid in a good way), and I love the romance between her and Jericho as much as I love Grey and Alice's. It's just so cut how much they care for each other and how much they've gone through together and sacrificed so much. I cried so much when Jericho died, and of course, I was shocked when Butterfly visited his pawnshop, and he was just there, all "What are you doing?" Though I think I kind of knew that you would bring him back. Who would be so evil as to keep Butterfly and Jericho apart? :3 And about Jericho's rebirth, how does that work? Do angels like him die on earth then go back to heaven then get kicked out again and start a new life? Or do they die on Earth and stay on earth reborn but without memory? Also, I was thinking at the end, wasn't it weird how Jericho remembered nothing at all about Betterfly, but when she kissed him and told him she loved him, he said he loved her, too? If he didn't remember her, why would he say he loved her? Maybe he felt something deep inside that though he didn't remember her, his subconscious would always remember her and love her? Anyway, I really love your stories, one of my favorite male characters is Cole, though, tbh, I didn't really read Sleeping With The Enemy. I read the first few chapters, but when I skipped to the end (no, I don't like spoilers, I just wanted to see if you finished the story because I hate unfinished stories because I'm always left hanging, wondering what the ending would have been), I kinda "accidentally" scanned a bit (hey, I was curious. I was wondering who Joss would really end up with), and I saw that you paired up Joss and Jack, and left Cole there, heartbroken. I could have gone on with the story, but I didn't want to go through all that drama. It seems kind of weird to me when it's the boy who's left hurt. Sometimes I'm okay with it, but I was too attached to Cole to see him go through all the pain. I've read Rough Petals, though, and even when Cole got his happy ending (:D!), I still didn't want to see him go through all the pain. Other than that, I absolutely love your stories. Hope you keep writing! :)