for Dark Solitude6/10/2009 c1 
11Lizabellhanson05
In poetry, it's important to me to sum it up in the last line, because sometimes you can't tell where it's all going until you do. The last line does just that and might I say the whole poem is beautiful. I love the technique of using contradictory words to show pain.
11Lizabellhanson05In poetry, it's important to me to sum it up in the last line, because sometimes you can't tell where it's all going until you do. The last line does just that and might I say the whole poem is beautiful. I love the technique of using contradictory words to show pain.
6/10/2009 c1 163sharks don't sleep
This is really good for a first attempt at a poem! It flows well, although I've never been a fan of commas at (mostly) every line break (that's your call, though - lots of people do it). You also might want question marks at the end of questions (depends on what you're going for, I guess).
I especially like "no voice calls out my name".
Lovely work, anyway.
C
163sharks don't sleepThis is really good for a first attempt at a poem! It flows well, although I've never been a fan of commas at (mostly) every line break (that's your call, though - lots of people do it). You also might want question marks at the end of questions (depends on what you're going for, I guess).
I especially like "no voice calls out my name".
Lovely work, anyway.
C