12/1/2009 c26 1Dancequeen105
All right. So I just found this story, and read it all in one sitting. I like it so much! Truthfully when I started reading it I didn't think I would like it, because the whole high school drama isn't really my thing. But somehow you made me love it. I can't wait for the last chapter :)

11/28/2009 c26 2SiriusLives1234
Laurie you did such a great job on this chapter! But I'm so sad that it's almost over :'( Anyway, glad you liked your engagement chapter! And I'm also glad you can come to my party! WHOOHOO! Anyway, see you Friday!

~Sizzle~

P.S. One question...in my story, where do you want your wedding to be?

11/27/2009 c26 5bookloverextreme
only one chapter left? Aw! I wanted this story to last longer! -sigh- oh well. I can't wait for the next update though!

11/21/2009 c25 2SiriusLives1234
wow laurie that was AMAZING! that was probably one of my favorite chapters. i can't wait to read the next one.

10/20/2009 c24 Anonymous Benefactor
Love the story! Please update soon! For some strange unfathomable reason, my favorite character in this story is Jonathan. I always imagine him a sweet and cute kid! Hopefully, you'll include him more into the story line!

9/26/2009 c24 3cheeselover827
Thats was a really good chapter cheese twin! well i laughed when she was thinking someone was going to pull up and ask how much she charged that was pretty funny! ah and im so excited she si getting to see her mother! thats pretty cool too!

UPDATE SOON

cheeselover8271996

9/26/2009 c24 5Ms. Poe
Woo-boy, here we go.

“For one it was small and crammed together, as if he had ran out of space while writing this.” Laurie, darling, you’ve forgotten your commas again. There should be one after “for one”. ;)

“Luckily for me however I had spent years of reading Jonathan’s barely legible handwriting, honestly I don’t know how that boy passed English.” Now, here, you see, there are commas missing and commas stuck where they shouldn’t be. Let me show you how it should look: “Luckily for me, however, I had spent years of reading Jonathan’s barely legible handwriting; honestly, I don’t know how that boy passed English.” (Three forgotten commas, one place where there should be a semi-colon INSTEAD of a comma (translation: run-on sentence))

“Anyway the note was a crumbled up recite with an address on it.” Should be a comma after “anyway”.

“There was nothing else on it except for 5413 Callie Road on it.” I believe one of those “on it”s is not supposed to be there.

“. . . I immediately googled the address that was writing on the back of a McDonald's recite.” For one thing, you keep putting “recite” when I think you meant “receipt” . . . and I also think you meant “written”, not “writing”.

“When I got my directions I stood up and walked out of the library, when I got outside I took off the heels and slowly began walking.” Another run-on; your comma there should be a semi-colon, or you could just separate into two whole sentences.

“I mean if you wear to take one look at it you would instantly pick up the book.” Should be: “I mean, if you were to take one look at it you would instantly pick up the book.” (Comma after “I mean”, and “were” instead of “wear” - and by the way, I really like this analogy.)

“I thought it was a fairy tall . . .” Fairy tale, not fairy tall. ;)

“It’s perfectly understandable” I told myself “He was my first and only crush, I was bound to get my heart broken.” Forgot your comma after the quotation: “It’s perfectly understandable,” I told myself “He was my first and only crush, I was bound to get my heart broken.”

“. . . because I was more lost then I imaged.” I think you meant “imagined”, not “imaged”, and THAN for comparison, remember, not THEN: “. . . because I was more lost than I imagined.”

“Great!” I thought, angrily, shacking my fist up at the sky “Just when I thought this evening couldn’t get any worse…” Forgot a period, and should be “shaking”, not “shacking”: “Great!” I thought, angrily, shacking my fist up at the sky. “Just when I thought this evening couldn’t get any worse…”

“I had to jam the directions and recite into my paints to make sure that they didn’t get wet . . . ” Pants, you mean?

“People wear coming out of there homes . . .” Two typos here - “wear” should be “were”, and “there” should be “their” (you want the possessive adjective, not the adverb): “People were coming out of their homes . . .”

“When I got around the corner though . . .” Commas. COMMAS. There should be one both before and after though (you only had after): “When I got around the corner, though . . .”

“5401, 5403, 5405, 5407, 5409, ah there it is 5413!’ A couple more missing commas: “5401, 5403, 5405, 5407, 5409, ah, there it is, 5413!’

And next, another run-on: “I didn’t care whether or not I woke up the person who lived here, I just want to see who it was and talk to them.” It would flow much more nicely like this: “I didn’t care whether or not I woke up the person who lived here; I just want to see who it was and talk to them.”

“I hate you, Jonathan” And, finally, we have the last missing period; it should be: “I hate you, Jonathan.”

Whew. Well, I hope this helps you. I’ll continue to help you out with the grammar for as long as you want me to, since I enjoy both fixing grammar and helping people. :)

And on the actual chapter now . . . whoa. So did not see that coming. That was a really good one overall. Please, please, please update soon. :D

Livvy