for Just Another Book3/18/2010 c1 
3MidniteLayce
I am fully intrigued! :) This story is quite unorthodox; I haven’t seen anything like it in a while. This is a good thing. Lol I’ve been reading stories with similar plots and characters and clichés for far too long. This was like a welcome breath of fresh air…
There were a few grammatical errors and typos and the like. I could PM you the specifics, if you want. I don’t want to list them all here because here is where I comment on your kewl story. ;)
Kai is pretty amazing. She seems like a very well-developed character, and I really want to see how she morphs from the girl in the first chapter to the girl in the Prologue. I have a feeling that it’ll be very interesting to read. ;) Her love for books is something I (and 99.9652% of the people on this site) can relate to. Though she seems to have made books her entire life- not quite healthy…
Her disgust for men isn’t quite explained yet (though I imagine you get into that in later chapters and it might have something to do with her parents’ extreme way of raising her…). I do like how persistent she is though. If they won’t take “no” for an answer, she simply stops using words and starts using her hands. Lol However, did she actually throw him across the street and break his bones? O_o How is she that strong?
Anyways, I am officially intrigued, as I stated earlier. And I will be sure to read on and review the other chapters. ;)
~ MidniteLayce19
3MidniteLayceI am fully intrigued! :) This story is quite unorthodox; I haven’t seen anything like it in a while. This is a good thing. Lol I’ve been reading stories with similar plots and characters and clichés for far too long. This was like a welcome breath of fresh air…
There were a few grammatical errors and typos and the like. I could PM you the specifics, if you want. I don’t want to list them all here because here is where I comment on your kewl story. ;)
Kai is pretty amazing. She seems like a very well-developed character, and I really want to see how she morphs from the girl in the first chapter to the girl in the Prologue. I have a feeling that it’ll be very interesting to read. ;) Her love for books is something I (and 99.9652% of the people on this site) can relate to. Though she seems to have made books her entire life- not quite healthy…
Her disgust for men isn’t quite explained yet (though I imagine you get into that in later chapters and it might have something to do with her parents’ extreme way of raising her…). I do like how persistent she is though. If they won’t take “no” for an answer, she simply stops using words and starts using her hands. Lol However, did she actually throw him across the street and break his bones? O_o How is she that strong?
Anyways, I am officially intrigued, as I stated earlier. And I will be sure to read on and review the other chapters. ;)
~ MidniteLayce19
12/10/2009 c3 L'Archange
Okay, I'm intruiged.
I find it disturbing that she didn't react to her parents being dead...and she acted so weird when she found them, but you've made me curious about her and the forming relationship between her and this...being. I'm hoping to find out why she's so empty.
BTW, I noticed you changed the summary (or am I wrong?) - I think your story is more interesting than the summary makes it out to be...a lot of folks would read this if they had a taste of what is offered once they click it?
Curious to read more :) hope you update again soon.
L'Archange
Okay, I'm intruiged.
I find it disturbing that she didn't react to her parents being dead...and she acted so weird when she found them, but you've made me curious about her and the forming relationship between her and this...being. I'm hoping to find out why she's so empty.
BTW, I noticed you changed the summary (or am I wrong?) - I think your story is more interesting than the summary makes it out to be...a lot of folks would read this if they had a taste of what is offered once they click it?
Curious to read more :) hope you update again soon.
L'Archange
9/12/2009 c1 6L'Archange
Hm...interesting. Totally my kind of story :) I want to know more about how this developed into what it is! And I would especially like to see more chapters soon...hopefully? :) What caught his attention about her :) ?
6L'ArchangeHm...interesting. Totally my kind of story :) I want to know more about how this developed into what it is! And I would especially like to see more chapters soon...hopefully? :) What caught his attention about her :) ?
6/16/2009 c1 4Decoris Verbum
Hey there.
I really do like this story. The title was...meh. But what drew me in was the SUMMARY...wow. Honestly, it's one of the best I've ever read. I read it a number of times, just because I'm dorky like that, before eagerly clicking on the story.
The story itself is developed in some areas, then lacking development in others. For instance, Kai is such a fantastic character-everything about her fills in the gaps to other things, yet readers can still sense the hollowness underneath the summary talks about. And then there's her employer, and this stalker guy-we don't get a name for either of them, which kind of bugged me. The employer was very unprofessional, and the creeper kind of appeared out of the blue. Other than that, most of your flaws lay in grammar and dialogue flow; nothing a good Beta Reader can't fix. If you'd like, take a look at my Beta profile. I'd be willing to consider you, for growth's sake. I think you've got something here.
Good story. Please update soon.
4Decoris VerbumHey there.
I really do like this story. The title was...meh. But what drew me in was the SUMMARY...wow. Honestly, it's one of the best I've ever read. I read it a number of times, just because I'm dorky like that, before eagerly clicking on the story.
The story itself is developed in some areas, then lacking development in others. For instance, Kai is such a fantastic character-everything about her fills in the gaps to other things, yet readers can still sense the hollowness underneath the summary talks about. And then there's her employer, and this stalker guy-we don't get a name for either of them, which kind of bugged me. The employer was very unprofessional, and the creeper kind of appeared out of the blue. Other than that, most of your flaws lay in grammar and dialogue flow; nothing a good Beta Reader can't fix. If you'd like, take a look at my Beta profile. I'd be willing to consider you, for growth's sake. I think you've got something here.
Good story. Please update soon.