8/3/2010 c2 WishBlade
I really like this story! The fact that you're telling the cliche from a very different point of view is refreshing. It's well written, and I like how you made it southern. I think I'll enjoy the Maggie & Tommy pairing. I kind of hate Bobby and love Tommy at this point, so yeah =] Great story! Please update =]

7/26/2010 c1 9Brolinshipper
okayy so i havent read this yet, but i had a typo on my review of one of your other stories. I said, y really really love this story, and i meant I, so i didnt want you to think i was asking why love it? cus i wasnt.

6/27/2010 c2 9Incandescently Chelsea
Hello. Okay, so I have had this story on my alert list for quite a while now, and I finally had some time to read it (1 a.m., but hey: during summer, 1 a.m. is like my 4 p.m.)

Anyhoo. I just wanted to let you know that I really liked this story, and I hope you continue you it. I'd love to see what happens between Maggie and Tommy...or maybe even, Maggie and Bobby. Still unsure of the chemistry between the three of them. I just don't know who I like best.

But, I do know WHAT I like best. And that is that the story is set in the south. And I just happen to live in the south, and you have the dialogue down just right, y'all. And I love how you say 'Momma' and 'Daddy' because that is exactly what I call my parents even though I'm a teenager.

All in all, congratulations on a very well written story. Even your grammar was satisfactory!

Hope you continue it =D

~Chelsea Elizabeth

8/12/2009 c1 6A Kiss in the Dreamhouse
I have actually been wanting to read a story like this in a while...we never get the cheerleaders point of view!

7/23/2009 c2 Ocean of Dreams
Whoa I love this story! I think it's because of the whole Southern thing. I'm from Chicago so there's no Southern for me but I love the sayings. Update soon!

7/1/2009 c2 14its.Nothing.Special
Funny that whenever I read your stuff, so many other stories on this site can't even compare. I always found that sort of postmodernist belief that truth is relative to what surrounds us kind of fascinating (maybe I don't buy into it too much, but it sure is interesting). And here you've got Chloe and Maggie May - from two wholly different worlds - living in their own truths. One living in the light of nonconformism (or something) and one in the light of Southern Belle society. And it's great. It's so, so great, because I can't help but feel a little bitter towards Chloe, whereas in any other story she'd have my full support (which was obviously your intent). And, you know, if this were told in any other perspective, I'd be raggin on Maggie's too-revealing dress but FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD I LOVE THAT GIRL. And her dress too dang it!

I really understand her, too. I mean she's sweet and she's considerate in - bless her heart - a sort of shallow way, but it's so innocent. I mean, honestly, the way she keeps going back to her Mom's advice and all...it's so sweet.

Love how they call each other "sugar" and "baby doll" and those references to "Lord Almighty" - the dialect gives a good sense of setting and upbringing.

Love how real this feels, love how Tommy is so obviously smitten with her - he's too sweet. (I can't wait to see more of his character. Feels like we've just gotten a taste of him, and I want more dang it!)

I like that Maggie May sometimes feels insecure, even though she is some amazing beauty queen. She's still a teenage girl, and with a mom like hers (like you said) that's just natural; I'm glad you captured that. And I'm so tired of queen bee characters that demonstrate their insecurity through insulting others or making the "Chloes" of the world's lives extremely difficult - so it's refreshing to see that Maggie just wants everything to be all right, including Chloe's make-up and shoes. She's a sweetie (gosh, I'm so sorry for hating on these Maggie characters in every other story haha! Really, thanks for writing this.)

AND I LOVE TOMMY DANG IT!

Though I have to wonder about this part: [‘It’s not you, Maggie. You’re everything I—a guy could want.’ Tommy smiled at me, patting my leg.] He was way obvious there rofl. I mean if this were a oneshot then that part would serve to give the reader hope that Maggie May would still get her happy ending...but I was wondering, since you're continuing this and all (thank GOD!), if you wanted to keep the reader in suspense a little longer. I guess I'm just used to authors trying to keep us guessing at the male lead's emotions (they're still obvious, usually)...but hey, now that I think about it, this is kind of nice, too. I mean, if you like someone that much, you're bound to slip up.

[We watched Bobby follow Chloe from the cafeteria, and then the table conversation flowed back to normal.

I guess that was the day I began to lose him.] OH MAN. I loved those lines. So poignant. Especially since she's telling the story looking back - I mean, when you can pinpoint the moment you lost the guy you love (and the catalyst was that one comment you made)...well, that's gotta hurt. Dang. Nice one.

Alright, so onto the grammar slip-ups from this second chapter:

[but doesn’t she know that too much black is never flattering on everyone!”] Everyone = anyone?

[and Abby was a ice queen in a pale blue gown.] a = an.

[The result is pretty spectacular... We made quite an entrance—my friends are pretty spectacular looking, and really, we are the life of any party.] Some tense-switching went on over there. In the first sentence, change IS to WAS. And change the "ARE"s in the last sentence to "WERE"s.

[“You’re such a better person than me,” Missy sighed.] hmm, I think that would sound better as "You're a much better person than me" or something to that effect. I mean, it is dialogue - you don't technically need correct grammar, but Missy doesn't quite strike me as the character to talk funny.

Anyhow - love the concept, love the characters, love the writing. Keep it up and update soon! You're some kind of awesome.

;)becky

6/24/2009 c2 2mia5081
I really this; it's original and well-written and I like Maggie May's mom. She sounds so nice and kind of reminds me of my friend's mom who used to bake us cookies when we were younger.

And I hope she ends up with Tommy-he seems...well, interestingly hot lol

Update soon!

6/22/2009 c2 Elle
hi i'm obsessed with this story and this character. i always love it when you play on the southern-belle thing, it's a culture so far removed from mine i can hardly even imagine it. i'm also obsessed with you. mwah lovelovelove byee