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for Plain Ole' Jane

3/11/2010 c1 gigil12345
"who's name was Colt."

who's should be whose.
3/5/2010 c4 nooooooooooooooooooooooooooope
i like it! update please! ;]
2/21/2010 c3 1surrendertomusic
LOL.

Totally love it
2/18/2010 c3 7ItWasOnlyADream
"This doesn’t happen, except in fiction!"

lol how ironic...:))

there's a few little spelling and grammar mistakes, but it dosen't distract from the story. just little minor things like that are the worst things...

Ok, now that we're done with the negative stuff...

you do a great job of slowly revealing Jane's personality, and use creative words in place of words like 'said', etc.

I love your metaphors and the way you describe everything...overall it's really good.

update please
2/18/2010 c3 Guest
lol me likey
2/15/2010 c2 nooooooooooooooooooooooooooope
looks good! :) update
7/4/2009 c2 12All Over You
I think it's really interesting so far, I'm curious to see where you take this story :]
7/1/2009 c1 5CuriousContradiction
First of all, before we get to the good stuff- a few technical things:

"Why don't you watch where your going"

Your - you're (contraction)

"You must be knew"

typo of new

On the other hand, I've enjoyed your story so far. You do a good job of description and dialogue. I would have liked to see less straight out listing of background because it can be done more subtly (I understand that that's difficult though), and you could, if you decide to repost this in the future, add more to the main character and Ryan's first meeting. I liked that you started off with the hi and the little banter about the book, but I feel that you could add a bit more after that instead of simply saying "we talked." My prediction is that Jane will get a makeover because she's in search of either popularity or acceptance. Guys will think she's pretty, and she won't have the smoothest relationship with Colt (as in full of arguments), but she'll end up in the A-list group. Colt will ask her out... but then the popular group would somehow betray her (maybe), but in the end, she'll know that the one who is true to her is Ryan.

I'm curious to see how to plays out and look forward to reading more. Thank you for sharing your work!
6/24/2009 c2 5Itsinthacan16
Woohoo! Good stuff girlie, write again soon por favor!

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