for Unable To Stay, Unwilling To Leave7/27/2009 c10 
1MyMathematicalRomance
Aaw, I feel for Rob and Mellissa(sp?). Rob, cause he might be mad agian and Mellissa(sp?) cause she is already going through rough stuff and then to have Rob come over...whew! Drama!
1MyMathematicalRomanceAaw, I feel for Rob and Mellissa(sp?). Rob, cause he might be mad agian and Mellissa(sp?) cause she is already going through rough stuff and then to have Rob come over...whew! Drama!
7/25/2009 c10 Cecilia A
DUN DUN DUN!
Wow, I say that a lot with this story... lol. LOVE-IT.
But: The song lyrics are distracting. If you absolutely must put them in there, I'd put them at the begining/end of the section, or maybe have the character listen to the song, and put in the lyrics there. They way you have it is distracting from the story and interrupting the flow.
Also, put in some more detail. Your story is pretty much a block of dialogue. Add color, or something.
LOVING THIS! :D
-Harlow
DUN DUN DUN!
Wow, I say that a lot with this story... lol. LOVE-IT.
But: The song lyrics are distracting. If you absolutely must put them in there, I'd put them at the begining/end of the section, or maybe have the character listen to the song, and put in the lyrics there. They way you have it is distracting from the story and interrupting the flow.
Also, put in some more detail. Your story is pretty much a block of dialogue. Add color, or something.
LOVING THIS! :D
-Harlow
7/18/2009 c6 Cecilia A
'He had black, curly hair and a red beard.' 0_o Did he dye it or something?
Oh well. LOVE IT!
'He had black, curly hair and a red beard.' 0_o Did he dye it or something?
Oh well. LOVE IT!
7/17/2009 c8 kesah.rose
aww, it is so cute... so what about rob... does he ever come back into the picture. i mean he was a good friend to her before she got drunk... post more soon...
aww, it is so cute... so what about rob... does he ever come back into the picture. i mean he was a good friend to her before she got drunk... post more soon...
7/17/2009 c8 3MidnightFall
I'm loving this story so far. It's really good. The romance between Kevin and Melissa is so sweet and cute. I can't wait for you to write more.
Is Melissa pregnant? Is that why she couldn't fit into her dress as well as before?
Hope you update soon.
3MidnightFallI'm loving this story so far. It's really good. The romance between Kevin and Melissa is so sweet and cute. I can't wait for you to write more.
Is Melissa pregnant? Is that why she couldn't fit into her dress as well as before?
Hope you update soon.
7/15/2009 c6 kesah.rose
aw. how sweet... but what about rob... i mean she had sex with her best friend.. you cant just go back from that...
aw. how sweet... but what about rob... i mean she had sex with her best friend.. you cant just go back from that...
7/3/2009 c4 kesah.rose
post more soojn. this is intersting. so this is going to be a triangle between kevin, melissa, and rob. or a rectangle with rob's girlfriend sophia or not... post more soon..
post more soojn. this is intersting. so this is going to be a triangle between kevin, melissa, and rob. or a rectangle with rob's girlfriend sophia or not... post more soon..