for Hansel and Gretel: As Told by the Brothers Grimm11/11/2014 c1 Big Fat Meany
There once was two kids in the 7th grade. They were always in trobel so one day they did something bad and got sent to this class called DAEP that's were they end bad kids. Well whatever they did put them in that class and they had to stay in there for 45 days. Well the girl that was in there all she did was put here armes in her shirt and got sent there. Then here comes the DAEP teacher. He is so mean I don't no not one person that likes him. Well that girl I was talking about her name is Nicole she hates him. She can go on for days talking about how much he hates him.
There once was two kids in the 7th grade. They were always in trobel so one day they did something bad and got sent to this class called DAEP that's were they end bad kids. Well whatever they did put them in that class and they had to stay in there for 45 days. Well the girl that was in there all she did was put here armes in her shirt and got sent there. Then here comes the DAEP teacher. He is so mean I don't no not one person that likes him. Well that girl I was talking about her name is Nicole she hates him. She can go on for days talking about how much he hates him.
11/11/2014 c1 ii
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8/5/2014 c1 Gravitation fan
I agree with my dad below me. This was funny as funny gets.
I agree with my dad below me. This was funny as funny gets.
8/5/2014 c1 Shuichi Shindou
Good fuck this was hilarious. This play better be on YouTube. loved this!
Good fuck this was hilarious. This play better be on YouTube. loved this!
9/5/2009 c1 
16Thornberry
This was pretty awesome at camp. I didn't realize you had written the bulk of it. It translated to the stage perfectly :]
16ThornberryThis was pretty awesome at camp. I didn't realize you had written the bulk of it. It translated to the stage perfectly :]
8/4/2009 c1 3writing-addict77
That was so cute. I love the dialouge (?) between the brothers. Great story!
3writing-addict77That was so cute. I love the dialouge (?) between the brothers. Great story!
6/25/2009 c1 8Alio Laski
Lol! I love it! Your humor is witty and the lines are succinct. I love the bear fight/sustenance bit, and the ending line is great. I'd love to see this actually played out, I bet it would be hilarious. Good show! You should try more Brothers Grimm scripts.
I don't know anything about writing scripts so I can't really give any meaningful critique, although if you'd like any critical points, somewhere you have "of who" written where grammatically it's "of whom," but it's dialogue so the rules of grammar are generally suspended.
Kudos and keep writing
8Alio LaskiLol! I love it! Your humor is witty and the lines are succinct. I love the bear fight/sustenance bit, and the ending line is great. I'd love to see this actually played out, I bet it would be hilarious. Good show! You should try more Brothers Grimm scripts.
I don't know anything about writing scripts so I can't really give any meaningful critique, although if you'd like any critical points, somewhere you have "of who" written where grammatically it's "of whom," but it's dialogue so the rules of grammar are generally suspended.
Kudos and keep writing
6/24/2009 c1 89Shadows in the Fire
Angel:
Absolutely wonderful script! I was impressed right off at the fact that you wrote your play like an ACTUAL script with correct stage-words and cues. Secondly, the humor worked for the play and if I was laughing reading it ("no bear fight"-"he's a young boy, he wouldn't know that word"...pardon my paraphrasing) I'm certain I would have laughed watching it. You have a talent in playwriting and I seriously suggest investing in a program like "Final Draft" (although whatever you wrote this on obviously worked, too) and perhaps attending that camp again :)
Good job!
-Shadow
89Shadows in the FireAngel:
Absolutely wonderful script! I was impressed right off at the fact that you wrote your play like an ACTUAL script with correct stage-words and cues. Secondly, the humor worked for the play and if I was laughing reading it ("no bear fight"-"he's a young boy, he wouldn't know that word"...pardon my paraphrasing) I'm certain I would have laughed watching it. You have a talent in playwriting and I seriously suggest investing in a program like "Final Draft" (although whatever you wrote this on obviously worked, too) and perhaps attending that camp again :)
Good job!
-Shadow