for Shattered and Lost8/21/2009 c1 
1ToSfan4ever
Hi! Sorry for the x-tremely late reply...
Anyway, I'm sorry for assuming it was a vampire romance, which thank-goodness it isn't! I like the characters, they're really genuine and original.
I immediately sensed this feeling of family at the end, when Luke said how they made an odd trio, cuz it reminded me of this video game, Baten Kaitos Origins. I can picture a sickly disgruntled old vampire-man as Luke (though being immortal, he may not look that way), a feisty yet beautiful girl as Celia and a mysterious, mature and maybe to devious looking character as Cassandra.
I'm sorry I can't really pick out any technical errors, probably because there really isn't any (except for that one spelling mistake)...
The swearing is not something I'm accustomed to, just throwing it out there, but it makes Celia a more independent woman.
Yes and you have a good thing going in that Luke is sort of a victim of his emotionlesness, not something that's usually done. Since, stereotypically these vampires are Gary Stus.
1ToSfan4everHi! Sorry for the x-tremely late reply...
Anyway, I'm sorry for assuming it was a vampire romance, which thank-goodness it isn't! I like the characters, they're really genuine and original.
I immediately sensed this feeling of family at the end, when Luke said how they made an odd trio, cuz it reminded me of this video game, Baten Kaitos Origins. I can picture a sickly disgruntled old vampire-man as Luke (though being immortal, he may not look that way), a feisty yet beautiful girl as Celia and a mysterious, mature and maybe to devious looking character as Cassandra.
I'm sorry I can't really pick out any technical errors, probably because there really isn't any (except for that one spelling mistake)...
The swearing is not something I'm accustomed to, just throwing it out there, but it makes Celia a more independent woman.
Yes and you have a good thing going in that Luke is sort of a victim of his emotionlesness, not something that's usually done. Since, stereotypically these vampires are Gary Stus.
7/22/2009 c3 7Solar Flares and Technicolor
I really like it so far, especially Luke who I think is really unique compared to most other vampire characters I read about.
Can't wait for the next part!
7Solar Flares and TechnicolorI really like it so far, especially Luke who I think is really unique compared to most other vampire characters I read about.
Can't wait for the next part!
7/22/2009 c1 3Beast King
This is an intersting story, it really pulls the reader in. You did an amazing job with Luke's lack of emotions. the fact that other vampires have this problem and not just him reminds of of (please don't kill me O.O) the Nobodies of the Kingdom hearts universe.
Ahem! Great chapter and I love the story.
3Beast KingThis is an intersting story, it really pulls the reader in. You did an amazing job with Luke's lack of emotions. the fact that other vampires have this problem and not just him reminds of of (please don't kill me O.O) the Nobodies of the Kingdom hearts universe.
Ahem! Great chapter and I love the story.
7/21/2009 c3 20Lonzo
Bite her, you dipshit! It's in her blood! How else would it work? Of course, I'm not the author, so I'll just keep reading to see what happens! yay!
20LonzoBite her, you dipshit! It's in her blood! How else would it work? Of course, I'm not the author, so I'll just keep reading to see what happens! yay!
7/10/2009 c2 Lonzo
I dunno. I thik you should leave it as is. It fits. She's broken, and soon, he'll shatter, cause he sure as hell can't bend.
I dunno. I thik you should leave it as is. It fits. She's broken, and soon, he'll shatter, cause he sure as hell can't bend.