for Chalk9/29/2011 c1 nutbuster
I feel like every sentence has it's own story.. and unfortunately, it's own abrupt ending. It's as if you have written a story with a "chose your own ending" format that stops short because we can't.
I enjoy the vagueness of it all, except I also like the significant details such as chalk, her white coat, the birds, looking down (and something else much more important, but it's escaped my mind..)
I feel like every sentence has it's own story.. and unfortunately, it's own abrupt ending. It's as if you have written a story with a "chose your own ending" format that stops short because we can't.
I enjoy the vagueness of it all, except I also like the significant details such as chalk, her white coat, the birds, looking down (and something else much more important, but it's escaped my mind..)
11/1/2010 c1 
20Skyward Ending
Beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful. Strange, sad...and whimsically poetic. Perfect title, beginning, and ending. The middle...exquisite. God, you're good.
20Skyward EndingBeautiful. Beautiful, beautiful. Strange, sad...and whimsically poetic. Perfect title, beginning, and ending. The middle...exquisite. God, you're good.
8/10/2010 c1 admirer
thaat was good really stunning
thaat was good really stunning
5/16/2010 c1 Capsaicin
Never have I read something quite like this. Most everything on here is all bright sunshine and happy endings, but this gives you a little more to think about. Kind of like a cliff-hanger, but not exactly.
Officially one of my favorite one-shots.
Never have I read something quite like this. Most everything on here is all bright sunshine and happy endings, but this gives you a little more to think about. Kind of like a cliff-hanger, but not exactly.
Officially one of my favorite one-shots.
7/5/2009 c1 8JamieBell
Oh my goodness, that was one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking stories I've ever read! Your imagery is stunning and moving. I love how you left them nameless-it makes them any two people playing the game of Life. The irony of the story is wonderfully crafted: he's drudging along half-asleep in his routine, and her entrance into his life wakes him up, while all along, he's just a part of her routine and game. It's so tragic. Wonderful writing! Thanks for sharing your talent with us!
8JamieBellOh my goodness, that was one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking stories I've ever read! Your imagery is stunning and moving. I love how you left them nameless-it makes them any two people playing the game of Life. The irony of the story is wonderfully crafted: he's drudging along half-asleep in his routine, and her entrance into his life wakes him up, while all along, he's just a part of her routine and game. It's so tragic. Wonderful writing! Thanks for sharing your talent with us!
7/2/2009 c1 35pixy-dizzy
That was incredible. Your language was so delicate and beautiful. With that beauty, too, I felt this small melancholy. Or not small. Vast, but something that I couldn't pinpoint.
There were so many things in this that touched me. The 'he' of this story's observance of age, told in the disappearance of his calluses and the stretch of his tshirts across his belly. This odd unfamiliarity with his body. There is a vague uncomfortableness in the way he and the woman-in-white relate to their physical selves as well as each other. Descriptions of baby birds and winter and sunlight.
This inspired me to put more effort into my writing so that maybe one day I'll be able to write as intelligently and feelingly as you.
35pixy-dizzyThat was incredible. Your language was so delicate and beautiful. With that beauty, too, I felt this small melancholy. Or not small. Vast, but something that I couldn't pinpoint.
There were so many things in this that touched me. The 'he' of this story's observance of age, told in the disappearance of his calluses and the stretch of his tshirts across his belly. This odd unfamiliarity with his body. There is a vague uncomfortableness in the way he and the woman-in-white relate to their physical selves as well as each other. Descriptions of baby birds and winter and sunlight.
This inspired me to put more effort into my writing so that maybe one day I'll be able to write as intelligently and feelingly as you.
7/1/2009 c1 1Emma Ablaze
You have a gift. Seriously, you do. That was so profound and ambiguous and well written that I found myself thinking it was a short story in a book. Even the title is good. Very catchy. Wow.
1Emma AblazeYou have a gift. Seriously, you do. That was so profound and ambiguous and well written that I found myself thinking it was a short story in a book. Even the title is good. Very catchy. Wow.