Just In
for A Lesson in Heartache

8/2/2009 c3 flawedxuni
Hm, I really wish these chapters were longer. Gah, I know I mentioned that before. It just helps me say more when there is more, and I tend to hate leaving short reviews. Which I'm afraid this one will be (the last one was short too..)

Anyway, I'm interested in this Alex person. I like his name better :) lol. I like her friends name too, though I think I'm saying it wrong. Is it like, Mikayla? But of course spelled, Mikaela.

Update soon? Oh, and I'll try to review your other story (and read) soon :)

-eVil uNicorns-

Also, if you're interested in any good stories (though I noticed you've read quite a lot) you can check my old profile's favorites: xmariex is my pen name. I have at least 80 het stories on there that you might've not read yet. They're all romance :) So I'm sure you'll like them.
8/2/2009 c2 flawedxuni
Wow, you write really short chapters. I'm not used to that since I tend to write sort of longish ones. At least I think they are, but my reviewers seem to think they're too short... hm... Anyway, nice chapter (wish it was a tad bit longer since not much goes on in one chapter that way). You might want to add a little more description here and there at times too (though I tend to have that problem as well).

Despite those things, I didn't find any mistakes in grammar or spelling which is great (a lot of stories tend to have a handful it seems). I liked the part where she exaggerated about the window thing, I know I woulda done the same :) I'm also curious by her relationship toward her parents... hopefully we'll find out more about that (since there did seem to be something...) I think.

Anyway, I'm headed off to the next chapter! I'll review that as well, give you more added feedback and everything ;)

-eVil uNicorns-
8/2/2009 c1 flawedxuni
So far, it sounds intriguing. The Prologue setting reminds me a lot of twilight (the meadow scene), but I'm not saying that in a bad way. I actually found that I quite liked this scene since it shows a lot of emotion. Especially the end, where you can clearly see that she's heartbroken(?) It reels you in for wanting to read more, which makes me baffled at why you hardly have any reviews... but I guess that can't be helped. There's a lot of authors who start off with hardly any feedback.

When I had originally started posting I only got a few a chapter, but over time when my skills progressed somewhat (heh, barely) and I started writing topics that pulled in more readers it helped in recieving feedback. This story may not have feedback now, but that can change overtime, or even your next story you decide to write could do better if you chose a specific topic that's popular. This story isn't actually something I'd be interested in if I was looking for something to read mainly cause I've gotten more into supernatural/fantasy types of genres. But I'll give yours a shot since it's written nicely so far, hardly any errors and does sound interesting.

The downside would be the love interests' name. I usually stay clear of any characters with the name 'Jeremy' since I have an ex (not a good one ) whose name is that, and usually if there's a story with that name, I tend to automatically think of him. I know that's stupid, but I can't help it :(

Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say what I thought so far, I'll be reviewing once I finish with what you have so far, and then most likely tomorrow I'll start on your other story and read that :)

-eVil uNicorns-
7/26/2009 c2 oneofakindxoxo
Hey, good job but work on it a little more.

Your getting there

See ya poobrain :) :)
7/7/2009 c2 Ipaintwithwords
I like this indeed, am curious as to the constant fighting and bickering...I imagine they do like each other quite abit deep down but I am getting ahead of myself...:)

Update soon
7/7/2009 c1 Ipaintwithwords
I found your story and I am intrigued so far. Why do they hate each other so much? Why was he so cruel to her, and what did he say to her?

Nicely done


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